You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

FISH & AMMO "Why do I always get the seat next to the cannibal?" "These guys are all the same. I know what's going to happen next." "My hairy skull isn't touching you." "Right on schedule."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I have completed all of my projects and I am ready for a new challenge. "You can help Tina write the department newsletter." "But the newsletter job is only given to the most worthless employee." "And her assistant."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I'm the editor of the department newsletter. That makes you my cub reporter. "Cub reporter??? I have an engineering degree from the India Institute of Technology - the most challenging university on the planet." "That'll come in handy during the copying phase. We get some fierce paper jams."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"The trouble started when you insisted on giving inspirational names to the conference rooms." "I scheduled a project meeting for the 'Quality' room and no one knew where to go." "Some people ended up in the 'Teamwork' room while others went to the 'Excellence' room." "By the time we sorted it all out, someone else was scheduled to use our conference room." "Then it took three weeks to schedule another meeting when everyone could make it." "But half of the team went to the 'Action' room and sat there while we waited for them in the 'Good Planning' room." "I thought this was the budget meeting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I made a fortune by being an incompetent CEO. Everyone called me crazy when I put my entire personal wealth into pigs and garbage dumps. "You invested all of your money in pigs and dumps?" "Invested? Now that would have been a good idea too."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I heard that porpoises are smart, so I hired one." "Porpoises have been known to save humans by attacking sharks with their snouts." "He looks like our company lawyer, but more surprised."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"There's no law that says a porpoise can't kill a company lawyer, but it's still somewhat bad." "Officially, I have to give you a reprimand." "Unofficially, do you like mackerel?" Squeak!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Carol, shred this." "The shredder is right behind you, next to the fax." "What if I do it wrong?" "Only a complete moron could do it wrong." "Um...I think I might have just faxed our strategy someplace." "And that's why you never see a water fountain in a men's restroom."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Having two computers is a violation of the company's 5S rules of standardized workspace. "I need two computers to test my software. There's no way to do my job with one." "I have a compromise solution. Put this little red tag on one of them and tell me later if anything bad happens."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"You will no longer have access to code on any server but your own." "Is it my imagination, or are all of our rules designed for the sole purpose of being huge inconveniences?" "And starting today, all passwords must contain letters, numbers, doodles, sign language and squirrel noises."