Search Results for "Alice"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Notice: Too many results returned for your search. Displaying the first 1000 most relevant results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #downsizing, #layoffs, #firing, #cheering, #celebrating, #happy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I had to lay off many of your coworkers today, but your jobs are safe." Dilbert says, "Yes!" Wally says, "Wahoo!" Alice says, "ha ha ha!" Asok says, "Ha Ha Ha!" The boss says, "Cancel the workshop on survivor guilt."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2009's comic on:


Tags #economy, #money, #demand, #orders, #rejection

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "The company cut my pay so I'm going to date a co-worker to make up the difference." Alice says, "From now on, one of you will be buying all of my meals and gifts." Wally says, "I'm oddly aroused by your offer." Alice says, "In that case it's not you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2009's comic on:


Tags #proposition, #marriage, #ridiculous, #confused, #reading, #explanation

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I crunched the numbers, and it makes sense for us to get married." Alice says, "I can maintain my lifestyle if you live in the closet and your only hobby is cleaning my house when I'm gone." Alice says, "If that doesn't work, I can insure the bejeezus out of you and hope for the best." Dilbert says, "The best?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #violence, #punching, #pain, #meeting, #angry, #economy

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I hear you have an MBA, just like the jerks who ruined the economy." Alice says, "I'm going to punch you so hard that it hurts everyone who has the same degree." Dilbert says, "What as that hideous noise?" Man says, "Ow!!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #story, #topping, #bragging, #ridiculous, #lying, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper Alice says, "I went for a long walk yesterday." Topper says, "That's nothing." Topper says, "My thighs are so strong that I'm afraid to jump rope when the sun is directly overhead." Alice says, "You're full of beans." Man says, "Exactly. That's how I achieve escape velocity."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #explaining, #angry, #confronting, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Last week I attended the circle of excellence conference for managers." Alice says, "So, while we were doing actual work, you sat in a circle with a bunch of managers?" The boss says, "It wasn't like that." Alice says, "Oh, I think it was."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #product, #idea, #violence, #hitting, #war, #weapon

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Our product is so unsafe that the military wants to use it as a weapon." The boss says, "Now the only way to satisfy our fiduciary duty to stockholders is to foment war to boost our sales." Elbonian says, "Hey, why'd you punch a hole in my hat?!!" Alice says, "That's a little thing we call marketing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2009's comic on:


Tags #eating, #annoyed, #angry, #violence, #hitting, #punching, #arrogant

View Transcript

Transcript

The foodie with a huge forehead Man says, Mmmm, a pomme de terre frite with sea salt and just a hint of rosemary." Punch! Alice says, "That was a French Fry. And much like yourself, it was a salted."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2009's comic on:


Tags #asking, #resources, #problem, #ridiculous, #stupidity, #bureaucracy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I need more resources on my project." The Boss says, "I'll give you someone from Alice's project." Dilbert says, "Then Alice won't have enough resources." The boss says, "I can only solve one problem at a time." Alice says, "Did he solve your problem?" Dilbert says, "I'm going to say yes."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #talking, #angry, #annoyed, #stupidity, #ridicule

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Alice, I thought it was time for us to have a little mentoring session." Alice says, "How does this make sense when I'm more capable than you in every imporant way?" The Boss says, "Maybe we can skip the part where I say you need to be more confident and speak out at meetings." Alice says, "Duh,"