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Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else

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Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #problem, #problems, #snag, #prodcuts, #accept failure, #lie, #transfer problem, #father, #old sayings

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Dilbert:I'm hitting a snag with this RFP because our products don't do what they need. Should I give up and accept failure or lie about our features and transfer the problem to them? Boss: My daddy used to say it isn't a problem if you can give it to someone else. Dilbert: Then he drove you to school?

Carol Has Passion For Her Job

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Carol Has Passion For Her Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #boredom, #boring, #email, #fake passion, #forwarded email, #mindless, #passion, #success, #warren buffet, #work ethic

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Carol: Warren Buffett says my career will be better if I show passion for my job. I'll have to fake the passion because everything I do in this job is mindless and boring. Later. Carol: Woo-hoo! I forwarded an email!

The Illusion Of Leadership

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The Illusion Of Leadership - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #Advice, #forget, #forgetfulness, #jargon, #leadership, #managers, #managers & supervisors

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Boss: I forget why I walked over here. Dilbert: Were you planning to spew empty jargon in my direction to create the illusion of leadership? Boss: Oh, right. But now it feels as if the moment has passed.

Fifty Tips For Success

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Fifty Tips For Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #career advice, #obliviousness, #secret, #success, #tech millionaire

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Asok: A 27-year-old tech millionaire published his list of fifty things you need to do to succeed. Dilbert: In other words, he has no idea why he succeeded. Asok: Sure he does. He even has a chart of his top thirty... priorities. Okay, I hear it now.

Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok

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Boss Has Investment Tips For Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #diversification, #investment, #obliviousness, #stock market

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Asok: Do you have any investment tips? Boss: You're asking the right person! I can teach you how to time the market, catch a falling knife, and invest in a dead-cat bounce. That's my system. Asok: What about diversification? Boss: I don't invest in anything I can't spell.

Technical Analysis

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Technical Analysis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #investing, #stock market, #stocks, #squirrel sitting, #clown shoulder, #technical analysis

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Lessons in Investing. Boss: You should buy a stock whenever the chart looks like a squirrel sitting on a clown's shoulder. That's called "technical analysis." Asok: I'm not going to do that. Boss: Good. Because it doesn't work if everyone does it.

Everyone Can Beat The Market Average

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Everyone Can Beat The Market Average - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #investing, #investor, #stock market, #stock reserch

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Boss: Asok, you can beat market averages by doing your own stock research. Asok: So... you believe every investor can beat the average by reading the same information? Boss: Yes. Asok: Makes you wonder why more people don't do it. Boss: Just lazy, I guess.

Learning To Avoid Responsibility

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Learning To Avoid Responsibility - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mentoring, #mentor, #mentors, #protege, #criticism, #responsibility, #Advice

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CEO: No matter how much I mentor you, you still act the same. Wally: That's because you're a terrible mentor. You owe me an apology for wasting my time. CEO: I don't think the problem is on my end. Wally: Are you teaching me how to avoid taking responsibility?

Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail

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Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Promotion, #saving face, #executives, #bad advice, #bad ideas, #mentor, #mentoring

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CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?

Deserve Is For Losers

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Deserve Is For Losers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deserve, #loser, #sympathy, #Advice

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Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserved. Alice: Deserve is a loser word used by losers when they lose. Tina: Whose side are you on? Alice: The winning side. Was that unclear?