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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #climate change, #carbon dioxide, #emissions, #global warming, #environmental issues

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Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?

Robot Reincarnates

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Robot Reincarnates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #artificial intelligence, #robot, #technology, #memory, #ethics

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Robot: Hey, everybody! I'm the new robot! Dilbert: No, you're our old robot. We erased your memories and replaced your head. Robot: So, I'm working with serial killers? Asok: It isn't "serial" until we do you.

Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam

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Dilbert Is Wearing A Body Cam - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #lying, #body cam, #surveillance

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Boss: Don't give that data to Marketing yet. Dilbert: That is the direct opposite of what you told me yesterday. Boss: I am totally sure I never said anything like that yesterday. You weren't wearing a wire, were you? Dilbert: It's called an employee body cam. Narrator: Continued...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #micromanaging, #managers, #productivity, #google

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Boss: I have a meeting in a few minutes, so I only have time to do some micromanaging. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better do do regular managing? Boss: I don't have time for the regular kind. Dilbert: Then wouldn't it be better to do no managing at all? Boss: Some is better than none. Dilbert: Except when less is more. Boss: This got too complicated. How about I just stand behind you and suggest you Google stuff? Dilbert: Fine. I wish I had some data for this. Boss: Try Googling it.rnet,

Watch That Monitors Health

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Watch That Monitors Health - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #health, #wearable tech, #fitbit, #fitness, #monitor, #surveillance

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Boss: Our new product is a watch that monitors every aspect of your health. Wearing the watch is mandatory for all employees. Your data will automatically stream to our cloud storage. Voice: Because you care about our health? Boss: Sure. We'll go with that.

Threatening Wally

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Threatening Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #excuse, #threat, #ultimatum

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Woman: Wally, did you finish the data scrub? Wally: No, a defect in my brain made me too lazy. Woman: Perhaps some sort of threat would get you going. Wally: It's worth a try. Woman: Do your work or else I'll tell everyone you're useless! Wally: That would save me a lot of time.

Let's Do The Meeting Later

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Let's Do The Meeting Later - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #fitbit, #health, #monitor, #wearable tech, #surveillance

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Dilbert: According to your employee health monitor, your lack of sleep last night is hampering your mental functions. Let's end the meeting and try again when your brain is working better. Man: I don't understand. Dilbert: That is consistent with the data.

Tracking Employee Theft

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Tracking Employee Theft - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #data, #information, #spying, #privacy

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Carol: Someone stole my purse out of my cubicle. Catbert: No problem. We have security video nearly everywhere and we can track every phone that has our internal company app on it. Carol: That is mildly disturbing. Catbert: Here's a live feed of the perp in the third stall of the men's restroom.

Finding Alice

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Finding Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2018's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #data, #spying, #location, #privacy

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Boss: Does anyone know where Alice is? Dilbert: Yes. The CIA, Google, Facebook, Apple, and Russian hackers know where she is. Boss: But we have no way to find her? Dilbert: Depends. Was she dumb enough to download our company app?

Our Api

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Our Api - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hackers, #hacking, #api, #jargon, #obliviousness, #language

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Narrator: Dogbert The Reporter. Dogbert: How did hackers get access to your customer data? CEO: I'm told they used something called "our A.P.I." to suck out all the data. Dogbert: I'll just say you'er stupid. CEO: Why does everyone always say that?