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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #internet security, #hole in inetrnet, #work 24/7, #network management, #buck passer

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Dilbert: "I discovered a hole in our internet security." The Boss: "What?!!" "Good grief, man! How could you put a hole in our internet?" Dilbert: "I didn't PUT it there. I FOUND it... and it's not.." The boss: "It's your job to fix that hole. I want you to work 24-7!" "Actually, that's NOT my job. But I'll inform our network management group." THE BOSS: "PASSING THE BUCK!!! YOU'RE A BUCK PASSER!!!!" DILBERT: "Forget it! There's no hole! It got better!" THE BOSS: "That's more like it." THE BOSS: "I fixed the internet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #need approval, #exhausted, #bored, #head ache, #business travel

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Dilbert: "I need your approval to.." "... Be exhausted, bored, stiff, headachy, annoyed and constipated for the next three days." "Also known as 'business travel.'" The Boss: "I must be traveling right now!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #weapon, #plane, #stand for rights, #Advice, #jail, #complainy

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Dogbert: "You should smuggle a weapon on the plane." "And never, ever return your seat to its upright position! Stand up for your rights!" Dilbert: "I've noticed that all of your advice would put me in jail." Dogbert: "Why must you be so complainy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #airport security, #epidural layer, #plastic bag, #federal crime, #airport tsa, #hassle, #terrorists, #airlines, #bins, #line, #xrays

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Airport Security Please remove your jacket and shoes Please remove your epidermal layer and put it in a plastic bag. It is a federal crime to mention the movies "Ishtar" "Glitter" or "Gigli"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #over head storage, #anxiety, #doesn't fit, #baggae, #luggae, #army on, #above seat, #iowa, #airplane

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Dilbert: GAAA!!! Im having overhead storage anxiety!! It doesn't fit! Everyone will hate me for delaying the flight! Flight attendant: We ere scheduled to fly to new york, but thanks to the bag that didn't fit, we have to leave in Iowa.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #airplane, #flight, #seats, #no room, #sleep, #six hour flight, #recline seat, #sleeper

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Dilbert: Six - hour flight. I can get lots of work done, Six hour flight. I can get lost of sleep. Dilbert: I can't feel my hands!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #concierge, #hotel, #slave, #do naything, #oo much, #donate kidney, #kiss up, #over trained, #give pay

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Concierge: "Welcome to the Metrogarden hotel! How may I make your stay incredible?" "I would be delighted to iron your socks, examine you for suspicious moles or take a second job and give you my pay." Dilbert: "I think they over-trained you." "I'm shaved and preped to donate a kidney."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #vendor, #contract signed, #price set, #hurt to ask, #time machine, #feel stupid, #hurts to ask

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The Boss: as the vendor to take 20% off the price. Dilbert: Now??? You already signed the contract, The price is set in stone. The Boss: It doesn't hurt to ask. Dilbert: It doesn't? SO...although we just signed the contract, would you please lower the price 20% Ha Ha Ha!!! Geta time machine you bumpkin!!! DIlbertL GAAA!! I feel stupid and filled with self loathing....futiloty tugs at my should,,,,my guts are clenched! Good. Ask Id they'll go for 19% DIlbert: It hurts to ask!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #flew to location, #mix up, #introdcutions, #presentations, #documents, #confsuion, #audience, #trip

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Associate: "Everyone, this is Dilbert. He flew half-way around the world to give us this presentation." Dilbert: "What? I thought I flew here so YOU could give ME a presentation." Associate: oh "Maybe I could show you some proprietary documents." Dilbert: "I'd like that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #phone calls, #plane, #hello jack, #hi jack, #misunderstood, #scared people, #flight attendant, #alraming, #irplane, #learning from trip

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The Boss: what were your key learnings from the trip? Dilbert: I learned that there are people you shouldn't call from a plane. Earlier that day Dilbert: Hi Jack!