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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I discovered a hole in our internet security." "What?!!" "Good grief, man! How could you put a hole in our internet?" "I didn't PUT it there. I FOUND it... and it's not.." "It's your job to fix that hole. I want you to work 24-7!" "Actually, that's NOT my job. But I'll inform our network management group." "PASSING THE BUCK!!! YOU'RE A BUCK PASSER!!!!" "Forget it! There's no hole! It got better!" "That's more like it." "I fixed the internet."

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"I need your approval to.." "... Be exhausted, bored, stiff, headachy, annoyed and constipated for the next three days." "Also known as 'business travel.'" "I must be traveling right now!"

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"You should smuggle a weapon on the plane." "And never, ever return your seat to its upright position! Stand up for your rights!" "I've noticed that all of your advice would put me in jail." "Why must you be so complainy?"

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"Welcome to the Metrogarden hotel! How may I make your stay incredible?" "I would be delighted to iron your socks, examine you for suspicious moles or take a second job and give you my pay." "I think they over-trained you." "I'm shaved and preped to donate a kidney."

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"Everyone, this is Dilbert. He flew half-way around the world to give us this presentation." "What? I thought I flew here so YOU could give ME a presentation." "Maybe I could show you some proprietary documents." "I'd like that."

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