Search Results for "Dilbert"
Share September 11, 1998's comic on:
Ratbert stands on Dilbert's desk. Ratbert says, "Thanks to my consulting job, I'm wealthier than you." Dilbert looks mad. Ratbert says, "And I'm cuter, obviously. The only thing left is personality." Dilbert says, "Shouldn't you be spreading disease somewhere?" Ratbert says, "Three for three! Yes!!"
Share September 30, 1998's comic on:
The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper. The Boss says, "This is urgent. I need it by tomorrow." Dilbert says, "You've known about this for weeks. Now I'll have to work all night!" Dilbert says, "Could you at least say something that sounds grateful?" The boss says, "I'm glad I'm me!"
Share October 10, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert lies in bed, under the covers. Dogbert stands on Dilbert's stomach. Dogbert says, "I can no longer hold this inside." Dogbert says, "You call that breathing??! Get the other nostril involved!" Dogbert walks away. Dogbert wags his tail. Dogbert thinks, "I wonder if he'll ever realize that I just enjoy yelling."
Share October 13, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert stands with The Boss. Dilbert's arms are raised in anger. Dilbert says, "Why are sending ME to teach cobol to the Elbonians? Wally is the one who knows cobol, not me." The Boss says, "Wally said he's busy that day." Dilbert says, "Can't you reschedule the class." The Boss says, "Okay... does tomorrow work for you?" Dilbert raises his clenched fists. Dilbert says, "YOU"RE SOLVING THE WRONG PROBLEM!"
Share November 05, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert and Ted stand behind Ann. Dilbert holds out a match. Dilbert says, "Ann, I made a bet with Ted that you could ignite this match by swearing at it." Ann screams at Ted, "How dare you bet against me, Ted, you #%!!*!" Ted's hair light on fire. Dilbert looks at the match. Dilbert says, "Dang! How about double or nothing!" Ted is now a smoking skull. Ted says, "I want my dollar."
Share November 13, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his computer. Carol hands him a piece of paper. Carol says, "You need to sign the non-employee certification form before I process your raise." Dilbert looks at the form. Dilbert says, "But this would be a lie. I'm not a non-employee." Carol says, "I'm only the messenger." Dilbert says, "Where did this come from?" Carol says, "The file cabinet."
Share November 18, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert is on a dinner date. Dilbert has a unicorn horn growing from his forehead. The date's eyes are wide from shock. Dilbert says, "Lately, I've been growing a unicorn horn." Dilbert says, "In some cultures, this would be a sign of great virility." The date has left Dilbert alone at the table. Dilbert thinks, "It's time to admit that I don't know what women want."
Share November 27, 1998's comic on:
The moron in messy suit stands in Dilbert's cubicle. The moron says, "Then we need tp PV the DCF and get the ROI to the EOC ASAP." Dilbert says, "Are you our new CFO or a babbling idiot who just happened to wander by?" The moron says, "Which one pays more?" Dilbert thinks, "The mystery deepens."
Share December 05, 1998's comic on:
Carol hands Dilbert a piece of paper. Carol says, "This report shows how much your raise would be if raises hadn't been canceled." Dilbert says, "Wow! My imaginary life is soing great!" Dilber looks at his computer. Dilbert thinks, "Now back to pretending to work."
Share December 14, 1998's comic on:
Dogbert stands on the arm of the couch with his ears up. Dilbert reads a newspaper. Dogbert says, "I discovered I'm much cuter when I put my ears up." Dogbert says, "It seems impossible that I could be any cuter than I was." Dilbert says, "Maybe you aren't." Dogbert says, "I could kill you and no jury would believe I did it." Dilbert says, "Okay, THAT was cute."