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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2001's comic on:


Tags #bob, #ex emloyee, #died, #funeral, #barely knew, #erfromance review, #communication skills, #attendance

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Catbert is standing on The Boss' desk. Catbert says, "Bob was working for you when he died. The family wants you to say something at his funeral." The Boss replies, "I barely knew him. Maybe I can read something from his last performance review." The Boss is standing at a podium at the funeral. He says in his speech, "Bob needs to work on his communication skills.. and attendance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #brain washed, #hypnosis, #inspire, #lowers of communication, #must work harder, #no good reason, #powers of communication, #better employees

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The Boss is sitting at his computer. He thinks to himself, "My powers of communication will inspire them to be better employees." Dilbert points at his computer screen and exclaims, "Gaaa!! He's using his powers of communication against us!" Wally looks on with a panicked expression. Asok walks past Dilbert and Wally's cubicles like a zombie. His arms are out- stretched and his body is stiff. He says, "Must work harder for no good reason." Dilbert and Wally poke their heads from behind their cubicle walls. Dilbert says, "We're too late!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #town hall meeting, #improve communication, #actual town hall

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We're going to have a 'town hall' meeting to improve communication." The Boss continues, "But it's not actually in an actual town hall. And I'll have questions in advance, so it's not a meeting per se." Wally asks, "Who do we give our questions to?" The Boss replies, "I think you'll find that it doesn't matter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2003's comic on:


Tags #more with less, #motivation, #communication, #more specific

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The Boss: Our goal is to do more with less. Wally: Less motivation? The Boss: I can't be more specific. wally: Less communication?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #improve communication, #imitates boss

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Man: I called this meeting so I could tell you the division's goals for next year. Alice: Thats a good idea because we're all so dumb that we coldly possibly read this in email. Goal one: Improve communication. ALiceL I can't. Im too dumb.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2012's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #millennial employee, #bureacracy, #poor communication, #task force, #regular updates

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Boss: Our millennial employees keep quitting because of our bureaucracy and poor communication. CEO: Form three task forces to look into it. But don't tell any of the task forces that there are two others doing the same thing. Boss: Should I give you regular updates? CEO: Nah.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #finish tasks, #communication skills, #poor skills, #task, #breakdown, #work, #delgatation

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Boss: Did you finish the tasks we talked about in the last meeting? Dilbert: No, because your communication skills are so poor that I had no idea I was supposed to do a task. Wally: Did I have a task?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2013's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #conversation, #natural leader, #communication skills, #context, #great communicator

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Boss: I'm what you call a natural leader because of my communication skills. Dilbert: Did I miss the context for this conversation? I have no idea why you're talking. Boss: Why does everything you say annoy me? Is it because you're a great communicator?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #didn't read, #email, #improve communication, #long rambling email, #someone else, #meeting

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The Boss: Did everyone read about how to improve our communication? Dilbert: Was it a long rambling email that stumbled from one barely coherent point to another? The Boss: That one must have been from someone else. Dilbert: Good because I didn't read it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2010's comic on:


Tags #class, #personality, #communication skills, #shake hand, #coffee cup

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The Boss says, "I signed you up for a class to try and get rid of that thing you have." Dilbert says, "What thing?" The Boss says, "The thing. You know. The thing that makes you the way you are." Dilbert says, "My personality?" The Boss says, "Exactly. But we call it communication skills because it sounds less rude."