Search Results for "google"
Share May 16, 2006's comic on:
"Aren't you afraid that Google will try to squash you for inventing a better search engine?" "Their company motto is 'Don't Be Evil.' It's not as if they have a death ray or something." Google Headquarters "Now look in the big hole, Eric."
Share May 17, 2006's comic on:
Google Headquarters "Isn't it a little bit evil to kill Dilbert with our death ray?" "Good point...What if I just blast the space station out of orbit and make it land on his house?" "I'll bet you ten billion dollars you can't." "And the lower has to introduce himself as 'the dumb one.'"
Share May 18, 2006's comic on:
My space defense shield detects an incoming threat. I am launching intercept rockets. "Apparently the boys at Google used a death ray to blast the international space station out of orbit and toward our house." "Why do you have a space defense shield?" "Doesn't that seem like a stupid question now?"
Share August 15, 2012's comic on:
CEO: Google offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. Dilbert: Huh. I wonder if I can convince the other engineers to jump ship today and share $100 million amongst us. CEO: What did he just say? Dilbert: Nothing. Just thinking out loud.
Share August 16, 2012's comic on:
CEO: Google has offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. I agreed to the deal because I'm a modern day slave trader who believes engineers are property and the rest of you have no economic value. Who wrote my speech? Employee: Someone with no economic value.
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Share February 18, 2007's comic on:
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "The new company health plan is Google." "From now on, employees must use Google to diagnose their own illnesses." "For example, this guy has a growth on his neck." "I do?" "A quick search on my Blackberry tells me it's..." "What is it?!!" "Ooh. Wow." "A pregnant termite crawled into your mouth and built a hive in your esophagus." "GAAA!!!" "Stop being a baby. The treatment for that is..." "Do you have an arc welder and a barrel of kerosene?"
Share September 18, 2013's comic on:
Dogbert: Today I'll teach you how to innovate the way Apple, Google, and 3M do it. Replace all of your dimwitted employees with smart people... then fire yourselves. The rest is just blah, blah, blah. Boss: Should we be taking notes?