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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #executives, #ignorance (knowledge), #technical details, #idea, #deciosns, #people involved, #pale and poorly dressed

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Boss: Stop right there. Don't tell me the technical details of your idea. I make my decisions based on what I know about the people involved. Dilbert: You know less about me than you know about my idea. Boss: Is your idea pale and poorly dressed?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #idea, #shredding gloves, #bad listener, #dumb idea

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Alice: Hold that thought until I put on my idea-shredding gloves. Dilbert: My idea is that...we...um... You're a bad listener. Alice: Tell me more about your dumb idea.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #public opinion, #feedback, #idea, #smart people

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Boss: What feedback have other people given you on your idea? Dilbert: Smart people like it. Everyone else asks me what other people think.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2012's comic on:


Tags #anger, #bad idea, #email, #hate, #meeting, #recommend changes, #bed ideas

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Coworker: Did you see my email with all of my recommended changes to your product? Dilbert: Yes. Everything you suggested is a bad idea, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining why. Coworker: Now I hate you. Dilbert: All roads headed in that directions. All I did was take the shortest one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #boss, #conference room, #dum idea, #meetings, #office dynamics, #stimulate innovation, #table

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Boss: What we need is an overarching strategy to stimulate our innovation. Dilbert: Or you could stop smothering the innovation we already have. Boss: That's the dumbest idea I've heard in my entire life. Dilbert: And there it is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1997's comic on:


Tags #life cycle, #business idea, #brain creates idea., #creates words, #proactive synergy, #words on papaer, #delivered, #bitter secreatry

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The strip is titled, "Dogbert presents the life cycle of a business idea." The caption says, "The brain creates an idea." Asok, Wally, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. Asok dreams about a woman. The caption says, "The mouth - operating independently of the brain - creates words." Asok says, "Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams." The caption says, "The words are written on large paper." Dilbert writes, "Let's form synergy," on an easel pad. He thinks, "Idiot." The caption says, "The large paper is delivered to a bitter secretary." Dilbert hands Carol the paper and says, "Please?" Carol growls. The caption says, "The secretary types it." Carol types, "Let's . . . form . . . protein . . . symphony reactionary . . . teens." She thinks, "Close enough." The caption says, "The typed notes are delivered to the staff." Someone hands Wally a copy of the notes. He points to the wastebasket and says, "Drop it in the 'to do basket.'" The caption says, "Repeat." Asok sits at his desk dreaming about a woman.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #drunk, #out of control, #on a date, #can't get date, #whose idea

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Dilbert, dressed in a coat, is strolling with Dogbert. Dilbert says, "I'll never get drunk. I don't want to be out of control." Dogert asks, "Are you in control at work?" Dilbert answers, "Well.....no." Dogbert asks, "Are you in control when you're on a date?" Dilbert responds, "I can't get a date." Dogbert continues, "And whose idea was it to go on this walk?" Dilbert answers,"Yours." Dilbert lifts Dogbert up on a rock to sit. Dilbert asks, "Are you saying that I should get drunk?" Dogbert answers, "No,no." Dogbert continues, "I'm saying the decision will be made by the beer companies." A seated Dilbert responds, "I hope they say that it's okay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #third person, #refer, #emphasize, #brand of greatness, #ruining, #good idea

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Dogbert dressed in a crown and sceptar says, to Bob, "Bob, from now on, I will refer to myself in the third person." Dogbert says, "Dogbert does this to emphasize his special brand of greatness." Bob says, "Bob thinks that is a good idea." Dogbert says, "Hey! You're ruining it!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #internet business idea, #sent idea, #five companies, #space

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The Boss says, off-frame, to Dilbert, "I like your internet business idea. Let's do it." Dilbert, off-frame says to The Boss, "I sent you that idea a year ago. Since then, five companies have gone IPO in that space." The Boss says, "Can we buy one of them?" Dilbert says, "If by 'one' you mean one share of stock, yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #idea, #change department name, #engineering, #similar idea, #marketing, #done

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Wally explains at a meeting: "My idea is to change our department name from engineering to..." He continues: "e-engineering." Wally says: "I'm working on a similar idea for marketing but it's not done yet."