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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2001's comic on:


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The Boss is sitting at his computer. He says into the telephone, "My keyboard is broken. It only types asterisks for passwords." Headline: Dogbert's Tech Support. On the other end of the line, Dogbert replies, "Try changing your password to five asterisks." The Boss says to himself, "I hope I can remember it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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An employee says, "What a day I'm having. First my key card doesn't work, so I have to tailgate into the building." The employee continues, "Then my network password doesn't work. Now my voicemail doesn't work!" The Boss grins as the employee continues, "Is it possible for anything else to stop working today?"

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"Wally, do you have the approved vendor list?" "It's on the net. The password is 'Wally.'" "Hmm, you always say information is on the net when I know it's not. Yet, by mentioning a password it sounds plausible." "So, first I'll find out that the password has changed. Then I'll find out the list is out of date. What am I forgetting?" "User name."

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"I am Mordac, the preventer of information technology, and I have assigned you a new password." "What is it?" "Click click" "It's the full text of 'The Da Vinci Code,' excluding the parts I don't believe." "I'm not touching you." "Stupid scenery descriptions!"

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"I have a new hobby. It's called phishing." "I send fake banking e-mails to gullible executives. Then I find out their financial information and use it to steal the money they don't deserve." Dear Customer, This is your bank. We forgot your social security number and password. Why don't you send them to us so we can protect your money. Sincerely, I. B. Banker "Looks legit."

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Share March 20, 2006's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #customer service, #trick, #deception, #laziness

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"Hello, I need some tech support." "What's your tech support password?" "I don't have one." "Well, then I can't help you." "Since when do you require a password?" "Usually right before lunch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2007's comic on:


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"What does my forehead say?" "I keep forgetting my password, so I wrote it on my head." "Is your password 123?" "I just said I don't know."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2007's comic on:


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Dogbert's password recovery service for morons "I don't remember my password." "Is it '123'?" "That's just spooky."

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Dogbert's password recovery service for morons "I done forgot my password." "What's your name?" "My name is Ned, I think." "Is your password 'Ned'?" "Sweet baby jeepers, you're like some sort of Nostrildogmas!" "Here's a brochure for my cult."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic

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Boss: Wally, you have accomplished none of your goals. I have to let you go. Wally: Actually, I accomplished a lot. I spent the past ten years creating a tangle of undocumented programming code. Every one of our major systems is linked to it. If I don't enter a password every day, the entire company will go into a technology death spiral. If you value your job, you'll give me a huge raise and dance on this table like a monkey!!! Boss: Let's call it a tie. Wally: Yeah, I'm good with that.