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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #evil demons, #stupidity, #saint dogbert, #image, #protect and wathc, #career change, #out demons of stupid

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Dogbert: "Is your job plagued by the evil demons of stupidity?" "Simply affix this image of Saint Dogbert to every document, cubicle or computer you want to protect and watch your career being to change!" "Out Out!! You demons of stupidity!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #project leader, #dogcart consulting, #shall do bidding, #endless variety, #expediations, #slab of liver, #external brain pack, #career low

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"I'm the project leader for the Dogbert Consulting Company. You simple employees shall do my bidding." "I'll be sending you on an endless variety of data-gathering expeditions. That will keep you busy while I do the thinking." "By the way, this may look like a slab of liver but it's an external brain pack." "My career just reached an all time low."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #new career, #technology pundit, #columnist, #angry opinions

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Dogbert: I'm starting a new career as a technology pundit and columnist. This mostly involves forming angry opinions about things I haven't got the time to understand. Is the RISC processor appropriate for señor citizens? hello!! Is anybody home?!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #career criminlas, #jail, #sentences, #don't reduce crime, #commit crimes, #others commit crimes, #statistics

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"I oppose putting career criminals in jail for life. There's no evidence that longer sentences reduce crime." "So, your theory is that when career criminals are in jail, other people commit more crimes to keep the average up..." "Statistics don't lie, Dogbert." "Unless bad statistics went to jail - then the others WOULD like."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #disoriented, #entire career, #environmental hazards, #feeling tired, #nervous, #run for exit

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Dilbert sits at his desk. A man wearing a mask and goggles and holding some equipment says, "I'm checking the building for environmental hazards." The man holds up an instrument and asks, "Have you been feeling tired, nervous and disoriented?" Dilbert says, "You just described my entire career." The man says, "If you start feeling good, run for the exit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #annoying rodent, #cutest briefcase, #following to work, #ratbert, #work to engineer, #career in marketing

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Ratbert walks behind Dilbert who is carrying a briefcase. Ratbert says, "I'm following you to work." Ratbert continues, "I'll start out as an annoying rodent but with hard work and training I'll work my way up to engineer." Dilbert says, "May I suggest a career in marketing?" Ratbert holds up his tiny briefcase and says, "Is this the cutest little briefcase or what?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #stay engineer, #career in mangement, #engineer, #dark side, #found probelm, #engineering

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Dilbert sits on his couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert says, "I can't decide if I should stay with engineering or pursue a career in management." Dilbert continues, "In my heart I'm an engineer but I hear a voice calling me to the dark side." Dogbert looks behind the couch and sees a man dressed as a devil. Dogbert says, "I found your problem." The devil says, "Boy is my face red."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 1995's comic on:


Tags #improve career, #ceo, #refer first name, #recent meeting, #rule, #iron fist, #funny dog

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Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert says, "Try this little trick to improve your career . . ." Dogbert continues, "Anytime you want something your way, simply refer to your CEO by his first name and say he gave you directions during your very recent meeting." Dogbert continues, "It's totally unverifiable. People will fear you and do as you say. You'll rule with an iron fist!" Dilbert responds, "You're a funny little dog."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1995's comic on:


Tags #3d rendering, #career, #computing needs, #finance dept

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Ratbert is seated at a table with Dilbert. Ratbert says, "The finance department has analyzed your computing needs and decided to give you a 286 PC." Ratbert continues, "That should be sufficient for the 3D-rendering you need to do." Ratbert continues, "Besides, how many times are you going to do 3D-rendering in your career?" Dilbert responds, "Once, if I hurry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dropped everything, #career plan development, #artificial emergency, #ping pong ball, #fax

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Dilbert hands a document to the Boss, who is seated at his desk. Dilbert says, "As you requested, I dropped everything and wrote my career development plan." The Boss reads from the plan, "I plan to bounce from one artificial emergency to another, like a ping-pong ball in a clothes dryer, until one day I resign." Dilbert says, "Here I'm using humor to make a point . . ." The Boss yells, "Fax this to HR now!!"