Search Results for "technology"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #japanese, #technology, #advantages, #japan, #employee, #exchange

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We can no longer compete against the Japanese with their technology advantages." The Boss continues, "So we're sending you to Japan on an employee exchange program." Dilbert asks, "To learn their technology and bring it back here?" The Boss replies, "Just do for them what you've done for us."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #computer, #shakespeare, #history, #greece, #technology, #dog

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "This is my new optical disk player for the computer." Dilbert plugs the disk player into his computer and continues, "Now I can instantly access the works of Shakespeare or study the history of Greece!" Dogbert asks, "How often do you need to do that?" Dilbert asks, "You just don't understand technology, do you?" Dogbert answers, "I'm just a dog."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #elbonian division, #launching staellites, #technology, #elbonians

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our Elbonian division was the low bidder for launching French satellites into orbit. Im putting you personally in charge Make sure they use the right technology. Elbonia OOPS elbonian: I hope those things aren't expensive.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1994's comic on:


Tags #patron saint, #technology, #heal broken hearts, #demons, #stupidity, #spiritual side

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I declare myself the patron saint of technology. I heal broken technology with my right paw and I use the scepter to drive out the demons of stupidity. Dilbert: I don't think Ive seen your spiritual side before. Dogbert: OUT! OUT!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #saint dogbert, #technology, #demons, #stupidity, #make command, #easy to remeber, #software developer

View Transcript

Transcript

Saint Dogbert seeks out technology that has been possessed by the demons of stupidity. He Happens across a software developer. Man: I'll make the command easier to remember like CTRL- ALT-F4-DEL" and if they forget that they can just edit the source code in command. com perfect Dogbert: out! out!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #no work, #invented code, #accounting systems, #mid 80s, #undocumented spaghetti logic, #holy grail, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I've never seen you do any real work around here, Irv. How do you get away with it?" IRV: "I wrote the code for our accounting system back in the mid-eighties. It's a million lines of undocumented spaghetti logic." DILBERT: "It's the Holy Grail of technology!!" IRV: "You boys may find a little extra in your envelopes this month."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #new career, #technology pundit, #columnist, #angry opinions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm starting a new career as a technology pundit and columnist. This mostly involves forming angry opinions about things I haven't got the time to understand. Is the RISC processor appropriate for señor citizens? hello!! Is anybody home?!!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #qualified, #technology, #artcile, #smarter, #microsoft corportaion, #most geniuses, #millionaires, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "What makes you think you're qualified to be a technology columnist?" Dogbert: "It's easy." "In this article I explain why I'm smarter than the entire Microsoft corporation." Dilbert: "Actually, they're mostly geniuses. And many are millionaires." Dogbert: "If they're so smart, why aren't they columnists?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1994's comic on:


Tags #strange smell, #aroma technology, #scent of lemon, #employees more alert, #lemon

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "There's a strange smell in the cubes." The Boss responds, "We're using aroma technology!" The Boss explains, "For example, research shows that the scent of lemon makes employees more alert." Dilbert sniffs the air and says, "That's not lemon." The Boss says, "My job's easier when you guys aren't too alert."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 1995's comic on:


Tags #personal digital assistant, #write messages, #state of the rat, #technology, #interoret handwriting

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert approaches Dilbert's desk and says, "I've come to be your personal digital assistant." Ratbert hands Dilbert a pen and says, "Use the little pen to write messages on my stomach. I'll use state-of-the-rat technology to interpret your handwriting." As Dilbert writes on Ratbert's stomach, Ratbert says, "Weave . . . me . . . a . . . cone . . . yoo . . . cupid . . . bat . . ."