Search Results for "understanding"
Share October 30, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I wish you'd realize that you're a garbage man, not an engineer. I don't need your suggestions on my designs." Dilbert looks over the garbage man's shoulder and says, "What are you writing? Oh yeah, as if I care." The garbage man hands Dilbert the corrections and says, "If you need help understanding that, the paper boy will be by soon. I've been working with him."
Share June 01, 1994's comic on:
"I can't believe we have to go to 'diversity sensitivity' training." "Wally, I don't see how it could be bad to seek a better understanding of others." "Uh-oh." "Take a seat in the 'dumpy white guy section'. I'm ready to start."
Share May 23, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert says to the Boss, "My salary depends on your opinion of my work. But you have no interest in understanding what I do, so . . ." Dogbert enters carrying a briefcase. Dilbert gestures toward him and says, "I hired the Dogbert Public Relations Firm to hype my performance and get me a big raise." Dogbert hands the Boss a document and says, "Press release: engineer cures cancer while saving baby from burning building." The Boss says, "That's not in his objectives."
Share December 23, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the floor in front of the fireplace. Dilbert asks, "What do you want for Christmas, Dogbert?" Dogbert answers, "The usual: domination of earth, happiness at the expense of others, personal ego gratification." Dogbert asks, "And you?" Dilbert replies, "I want to feel greater love and understanding for other people." Dogbert asks, "Even obnoxious and cynical people?" Dogbert continues, "And people who laugh at you for being an idealistic simpleton?" Dilbert thinks. Dilbert pats Dogbert's head and replies, "Yeah." Dogbert says, "Merry Christmas, Dilbert."
Share March 28, 2002's comic on:
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "From now on, everything we do must be justified by R.O.I." Dilbert asks, "What's the R.O.I. for this new policy about calculating R.O.I.?" The Boss says, "I said 'from now on.'" Dilbert points at The Boss and says, "What about your answer? No R.O.I."
Share June 06, 2006's comic on:
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "What?" "You've been randomly selected for a drug test." "I have a shy bladder. I can't produce under pressure!!!" "Do it now or be fired." "Thanks for understanding." "DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!"
Share April 13, 2007's comic on:
"I don't understand why technical writers get paid less than engineers." "If you were capable of understanding that sort of thing, you'd be an engineer." "This took an ugly turn." "And your dress looks like a tube sock with aspirations."
Share June 06, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "You won't read my technical report so I summarized it in this complicated slide." Dilbert says, "If you stare at it long enough you will either experience the illusion of understanding it or be too embarrassed to admit you don't." Dilbert says, "Do you have any questions to betray your ignorance?" Someone says, "Is the triangle thing mad at the tube?"
Share April 05, 2010's comic on:
Tina says, "I proofread your technical document despite not understanding a word of it." Tina says, "I couldn't tell the acronyms from the typos, so I changed them all to whatever felt right." The Boss says, "You say we should migrate our lemon flutes to a hard flea?" Dilbert says, "Not all at once."
Share April 24, 2010's comic on:
Boss says, "Good news! We won the bid to build a nationwide wireless network!" Dilbert says, "Bad news! We don't know how to build a nationwide wireless network!" Boss says, "It's wireless. How hard could it be to not install wires?"