Search Results for "stupid"

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Teeth Brushing Accident

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Teeth Brushing Accident - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #insult, #criticism, #presentation, #stupid, #mean

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Coworker: Are there any questions about my presentation? Alice: Yes. Did you brush your teeth too aggressively and accidentally stab yourself in the brain? Coworker: Can you be more specific? Alice: Frontal lobes?

Dilbert And The Prison Gang

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Dilbert And The Prison Gang - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #prison, #lawyer, #attorney, #Advice, #plead, #trial, #crime, #murder, #technicality, #guilt, #legal

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Dogbert: Your brain stimulator invention turned you into a murderer. I will argue that you can't get a fail trial by jury of your peers because all of the people like you are already in jail for doing their own stupid stuff. And I signed you up for a prison gang. All you need to do is skin a snitch.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #martial arts, #yoga, #stupid, #idiot, #confusion, #tai chi, #karate, #misunderstanding

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Boss: I signed up for a martial arts class. It's something called "yoga." Carol: Have you killed anyone yet? Boss: Not on purpose.

Next Robot Will Be Intelligent

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Next Robot Will Be Intelligent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #ai, #artificial intelligence, #insult, #intelligence, #obliviousness, #robot, #stupid

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Boss: Our next robot release will have the intelligence of a human! Dilbert: Will it have intelligence in the same way you do? Boss: What are you implying? Dilbert: I'll bet the robot wouldn't know either.

Meetings Are Dense

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Meetings Are Dense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #time, #perception, #joke, #insult, #stupid, #obliviousness

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Dilbert: According to Einstein, time flows more slowly in meetings than it does in empty space. That's because people are dense. Boss: Is that true? Alice: For you it is.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #demands, #bosses, #unrealistic, #frustration, #outburst, #catch-22, #travel, #air travel

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Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

Ted Is Not That Dumb

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Ted Is Not That Dumb - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #joke, #mean, #bully, #insult, #death, #idiot, #idiocy, #stupid, #dumb, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #medical

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Boss: You're not allowed to tell co-workers to drive into a ravine. Dilbert: It was a joke. Ted isn't so dumb that he would do it. Ask him if he's that dumb. Boss: Don't speak ill of the dead.

Too Dumb To Understand

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Too Dumb To Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #perspective, #dumb, #social media, #comment, #technology

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Boss: I can't believe how stupid this person is. Dilbert: How do you rule out the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand his point? Take your time. I can wait. Boss: For starters, he disagrees with me.

Alice Gives Approval

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Alice Gives Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #deal, #support, #negotiations

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Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to get everyone's buy-in on this. Alice: I'll agree to your stupid idea if you support my great idea later. Dilbert: Deal. Alice: Should I read it? Dilbert: I don't see why.

Contradicting Himself

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Contradicting Himself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #managing, #proof, #body cam, #camera, #recording

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Dilbert: According to my employee body cam playback, you contradicted yourself eleven times today. Boss: Your stupid body cam is interfering with my ability to manage. Dilbert: By "manage," do you mean contradicting yourself and later denying it? Boss: I don't not mean that.