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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #da vinci code, #excluding parts, #information etchnology, #mordac, #preventor

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"I am Mordac, the preventer of information technology, and I have assigned you a new password." "What is it?" "Click click" "It's the full text of 'The Da Vinci Code,' excluding the parts I don't believe." "I'm not touching you." "Stupid scenery descriptions!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2005's comic on:


Tags #mordac, #preventer of information, #screen saver, #modified, #seconds of inactivity, #head bobbing bird

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"I am Mordac, the preventer of information technology. I have modified your screensaver security to lock up after two seconds of inactivity." "Ha ha! Unless you touch the keyboard every two seconds you will be forced to log-in again!" "Dang you perpetually moving head-bobbing bird! Gaaa!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2005's comic on:


Tags #coding, #moron, #standardize new programming, #methodology, #middle of the project, #technology

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The Boss: How's the coding coming along? Dilbert: "No problem unless..." "...some moron tries to standardize on a new programming methodology in the middle of the project." The Boss: "What if it's me instead of some moron guy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2005's comic on:


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I'm the editor of the department newsletter. That makes you my cub reporter. "Cub reporter??? I have an engineering degree from the India Institute of Technology - the most challenging university on the planet." "That'll come in handy during the copying phase. We get some fierce paper jams."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2005's comic on:


Tags #pet employee, #all projects, #cutting edge technology, #hawaii

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"Don't worry that I might give all the good projects to my pet employee." "Petricia, I'd like you to evaluate cutting-edge technologies in Hawaii." "Now, who's left to wax my back?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2006's comic on:


Tags #executives, #hierarchy, #invisible, #managers, #status, #underling, #steering committee, #tall memebers, #senior menagement, #acknowledge exitence

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"Asok, I want you to attend the technology steering committee for me." "But they are all tall members of senior management. They won't even acknowledge my existence." "Phfft." "Hey, Andy, this seat is free. I'll just move my coffee."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2006's comic on:


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Satan's Vendor "You'll have many benefits after our technology is irrevocably implemented in your network." "For example, when one of our products stops working, we'll blame another vendor within 24 hours." "Do you have free t-shirts?" "Yes. They're made of the finest allergens."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2006's comic on:


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"I'm a technology left-behind." "I don't know how to use a computer, cell phone, PDA, digital camera, iPod or TiVo." "I'd recommend a life of crime but you aren't qualified."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2006's comic on:


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I need to blame someone for the failure of Project Alpha. "Use the plunger of blame. It's the latest technology for randomly distributing blame." "Please tell me that someone is patting me on the back right now." BLAME

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2006's comic on:


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Flashback: Indian Institute of Technology. "Your telekinesis grades are very good, young Asok." "Always remember that you may not use your powers in front of the ungifted." Present Day "What the...? I just blinked and the last doughnut disappeared!"