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No Walking Away

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No Walking Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #policy, #conversation, #ideas, #management, #strategy, #politeness, #etiquette

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Boss: The company has a new politeness policy. It is no longer acceptable to turn and walk away while a co-worker is in the middle of telling you something. Dilbert: That will add months to my project. Alice: I'm selling all of my company stock.

Alice Dates Robot

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Alice Dates Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #dating, #human resources, #company policy, #robot, #relationships, #free will

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Alice: Am I allowed to date a co-worker? Catbert: That's against company policy. Alice: Is our robot considered a co-worker? Catbert: No. Alice: We're good to go. Robot: Man, I wish I had free will.

Open Office Plan Failed

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Open Office Plan Failed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #change, #mistake, #admission, #hubris

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Dilbert: Our transition to an open office plan has been a huge failure. Too many distractions. How can we change back to cubicles and private offices without looking like idiots? Are you listening to me? Boss: Is someone nursing a baby over there?

Boss Wants Private Office

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Boss Wants Private Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cubicle, #office, #office workers, #privacy, #open office

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Boss: The employees are complaining because our new open office plan has too many distractions. CEO: You want to go back to cubicles? Boss: No, I just need a private so I can't hear them complaining.

Two Choices For Work Space

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Two Choices For Work Space - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #distraction, #work from home

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Boss: We're trying to decide if it's better to have an open office plan with too many distractions to be productive... or soul-crushing cubicles that will make every employee envy the dead. Dilbert: Maybe everyone can just work from home? Boss: And miss all of this?

Asok Is In Charge Of Cubicle Move

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Asok Is In Charge Of Cubicle Move - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #popularity, #power

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Boss: Asok, I"m putting you in charge of deciding who gets which cubicle after the office redesign. Asok: But... everyone will hate me for deciding who gets the best cubicles. Boss: Try to see it as an upgrade to your current situation of no one caring about you. Asok: That helps a little.

Asok Uses An Algorithm

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Asok Uses An Algorithm - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #cubicle, #popularity, #algorithm, #decision

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Asok: After the office redesign, you will be in the cubicle nearest our pointy-haired boss. Man: How did you decide on that? Asok: I used an algorithm. Man: Is the algorithm that you hate me? Asok: And you have never studied martial arts.

Move To Cubicles Is Complete

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Move To Cubicles Is Complete - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #office, #cubicle, #depression

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Dilbert: We're done moving the staff from the open office plan back to cubicles. Now they will be less distracted when they focus on the crushing futility of their assignments. Boss: Good job. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be in my fabric-covered box.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #thundershirt, #stress, #prank, #practical joke

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Wally: You look stressed. Asok: I am. How do you drink so much coffee and stay so calm? Wally: It's easy. I wear a "Thundershirt" under my work clothes. It was designed to make dogs feel safe during thunderstorms. When I saw the commercial for it on TV, I wondered what else it could do, so I bought one. I haven't had a bad day at work since then. Narrator: One week later. Asok: Feeling good! Best day of work ever! Dilbert: Did you convince a co-worker to wear pet clothes? Wally: That's how I reduce my stress.

Blamecatcher

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Blamecatcher - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #blame, #scapegoat, #failure, #excuse

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Boss: I'm assigning you to a project that is co-managed by vice presidents who hate each other. Dilbert; Why do they want me to work on a project that is clearly doomed? Boss: They said something about a "blamecatcher."