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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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The pheremone cologne is making women desire me physically but they can't reconcile it mentally.

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"You're unsuccessful in love because you keep forgetting opposites attract." "Logically, the woman who would be most attracted to you are beautiful and intellectually stimulating." "You're right. I've been underestimating my drawing power." "And women love it when you pose like this for them."

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"I need a replacement for my company cellular phone." "I dropped mine in the...John." "Again?? Why don't you reach in and fish it out?" "I tried, but then my pager fell in too." "Reach in and get them both." "I tried, of course, but when my vast array of writing tools fell in they kind of wedged..." "Try it again!!!" "Where are your glasses?" "Shut up."

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Our Elbonian division was the low bidder for launching French satellites into orbit.

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The corporate office sent me to head up the Elbonian satellite launching program.

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"Project status: We accidentally destroyed the French satellite and are now at war with France." "Maybe you should be a little more upbeat in your report. Emphasize the positive." "...on a positive note, our headcount expenses are trending downward."

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The French are bombin us!! Run!!

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"...The French stopped bombing Elbonia when they realized there was nothing worth destroying." "Ironically, the GNP of Elbonia tripled by selling the bomb fragments for scrap. When I left they were trying to goad France into another war." "French Embassy" "You call this swill champagne?? If we drank this we'd have to eat snails to get the taste out of our mouths too!!"

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"The less you know, the happier you are." "While you struggle with that computer, I'm naked, clueless and f-e-e-e-ling good!" "You're really annoying me now." "Totally naked! Isn't that a hoot?"

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