Search Results for "app"
Share June 11, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: Today we will brainstorm app ideas for our smart watch. The only rule is "no judging." Wally: How about an app that makes you left-handed. Are you judging me now or were you being insincere before.
Share June 16, 2015's comic on:
Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.
Share August 23, 2015's comic on:
Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.
Share November 13, 2016's comic on:
Tina: I have a great idea for an app. And I choose you to be on my start-up team. I'll be the idea person and you do all of the technology. Dilbert: So... I would be doing 100 percent of the work? Tina: I already did the hard part of coming up with an idea. Your part is just typing. So stop complaining and type me an app. Dilbert: It isn't that easy. Tina: Can you recommend someone less lazy?
Share November 01, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: The neural interface is live. His brain is now communicating with his phone. Alice: He's sending me a brain-text. It says "Please help me. My phone has taken control of my body." Dilbert: It worked! Alice: Now we just need to write an app that makes him a better boss.
Share November 02, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Thanks to my new neural interface, I can control our boss using an app. I haven't written the app yet, so all he does is sit there like a zombie. Wally: Maybe we can skip the app. Alice: There's no reason to over-engineer it.
Share November 03, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Maybe we should remove the neural interface so his natural brain works again. Alice: Or... and this is just a thought-- we could create an app that makes him jump off the roof. Dilbert: Would that be murder or suicide? Alice: All we need is reasonable doubt.
Share December 20, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: The animal testing for our app is done. The app is so addictive that Zimbu the monkey was hospitalized for starvation while using it. I think we all know what we need to do. Boss: Submit it to the app store?
Share December 19, 2017's comic on:
Narrator: Zimbu The Monkey. Dilbert: We need to do animal testing on our new app. Do you mind taking a look? Zimbu: I'm getting a strong dopamine hit every time I click on it. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Dilbert: May I have it back? Zimbu: Put that hand away before I bite it off.
Share January 23, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: are these user specifications complete? Ted: No, I plan to add requirements as you build the app until you have no hope of success and you fantasize about strangling me. Dilbert: Do you know what isn't as refreshing as you'd hope? Dogbert: Honesty?