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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 1990's comic on:


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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Just great . . . You've destroyed half of the city with my 'Sonic Obliterator' invention . . ." Dilbert continues, "You're being pursued by the police, FBI and National Guard . . . I TRUSTED you. Is there anything you'd like to say to me?" Dogbert replies, "Oh, yeah, thank you very much for letting me borrow the Obliterator . . . It's been great . . . Can I use it again tomorrow?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Bob the Dinosaur asks Dogbert, "What did Dilbert leave you in his will?" Dogbert replies, "He stiffed me." Dogbert holds a device and explains, "All I got is custody of this stupid invention of his . . . I don't even know what it does." Bob says, "I get it . . . He 'stiffed' you . . . Hee-hee!" Dogbert says, "Try to stay with me, Bob."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert yells, "Yikes! Dilbert's invention is alive!!" A flash of light comes from the device. An image of Dilbert's head appears and says, "I am a holographic recording of the late Dilbert, with a message to Dogbert from beyond the grave." Dogbert takes notes on a pad of paper as Dilbert says, ". . . And my recipe for chile con carne is as follows . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching. Dilbert says, "My boss is giving me my annual review today." Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss reads and document and says, "Your biggest accomplishment was the invention of automatic dentures?" Dilbert replies, "They can eat while you're asleep." Dilbert thinks, "This long pause could mean anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert and the Boss stand in the lab. The Boss asks, "Are you telling me that your automatic denture invention mistook Johnson for a meat loaf?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . . Last April. I guess I should have told somebody." The Boss covers his face with his hands. Dilbert asks, "Is there a form I need to fill out?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert stands at a woman's door and asks, "Are you Widow Johnson . . . Uh, I mean 'Missus' Johnson?" Dilbert says, "I'm afraid your husband was devoured by the automatic denture invention we were building." Dilbert continues, "Some day we'll look back at this and laugh." The woman looks shocked.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert reads a document and says, "Dogbert, I sold the rights to my anti-gravity invention. I get to keep half of the 'net.'" Dilbert says, "I wonder what 'net' means." Dogbert responds, "Net is what you land in after you find out you get no money and jump off a ledge." Dilbert asks, "What if there is no net?" Dogbert replies, "It's gross."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert makes some adjustments to a vehicle that looks like a flying saucer. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My hover-saucer invention is complete!" Dilbert continues, "It has enough advanced weaponry to destroy a small country." Dilbert says, "I hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands." Dogbert thinks, "Paws."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert stands in front of a flying saucer and thinks, "It is my destiny to conquer Elbonia using Dilbert's hover-saucer invention." Dogbert climbs into the saucer thinking, "I feel intoxicated with power and blinded by my own ambition." Dogbert sits in the driver's seat thinking, "Maybe I shouldn't drive while under the influence of metaphors."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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A woman stands in front of the Boss's desk holding a device. The woman says, "My 'defantalator' invention can eliminate the unproductive and naughty thoughts of your male employees." The woman continues, "We succeeded in getting men to stop ACTING like men, but it wasn't enough. Men must stop THINKING like men too." The Boss thinks, "Hmm . . . A little makeup and a new hairdo . . ." The woman points the invention at the Boss and says, "Hey! Cut it out!"