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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1998's comic on:


Tags #slow witted coworkers, #lunch room, #eating lunch, #coworkers

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Alice sits at lunch with Wally and Dilbert. Alice says, "I'd love my job if not for my slow-witted co-workers." No reaction. Wally says, "Am not." Dilbert turn to Wally and says, "You're drinking my soda again!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 1994's comic on:


Tags #trap set, #dogbert sniffs, #thief found, #set up, #decoy lunch, #synthetic female hormones, #wally boobs, #caught, #busted, #theif

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Dilbert: "Exhibit 'A' is my empty lunch bag, last seen full." "Only the people in this room had the motive and the opportunity." "Inspector Dogbert will investigate." Dogbert: "Sniff. You were in the mail room with Willy the mail boy all morning. You are innocent." "Sort of." "Sniff. I give you a 'C+' for hygiene but you did not take the lunch." "Sniff. Bologna...potato chips...carrot sticks...ha!!!" "This is the thief who took the decoy lunch...which we laced with synthetic female hormones!" Wally: "You can't prove anything!" Dogbert: "Is there something you'd like to get off your chest?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 1995's comic on:


Tags #security guards in space, #need badge, #search lunch box, #watch lunch, #cart to car, #space travel safe, #for animals, #ratbert, #security guard, #Dogbert

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Dilbert sits on the couch reading a magazine with his feet on the coffee table. Dogbert and Ratbert stand on the table. Dogbert says, "We're going downtown to play 'security guards in space.'" Dilbert says, "I don't want to know." Dogbert and Ratbert walk down the sidewalk pulling a lunch box shaped like a space rocket. Ratbert says, "Let's try that building." The security guard says to Dogbert, "I'll need to see your I.D. badge, sir." Dogbert shows him something and says, "Look fast!! There it is!! Not a pack of matches!!" The security guard says, "Okay." The guard says, "I'll have to search your lunch box." The guard looks inside the rocket and says, "It's just a bunch of wires and gizmos." Dogbert says, "You're making me SO hungry." Dogbert asks, "Could you watch my lunch while I take the cart back to my car?" The guard sits on the rocket. Dogbert tells Ratbert, "I feel bad, but it's the only way to test if space travel is safe for us animals." Ratbert says, "I feel safer already "

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 1996's comic on:


Tags #accounting, #airfare, #business trip, #saturday, #reimburse, #saturday hotel costs, #business activity, #understand, #economic choices, #waste money, #ugly brain dead troll, #free lunch money

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Dilbert approaches the cave where the accounting department is located. He groans. Dilbert tells a troll, "I saved $500 in airfare by extending my business trip to Saturday." Dilbert asks, "Why won't you reimburse me for the Saturday hotel costs?" The troll replies, "Saturday was not a business-related activity." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Let me see if I understand this . . ." Dilbert continues, "It's NOT business-related to make sensible economic choices . . ." Dilbert continues, "But it IS business-related to waste money like an ugly, brain-dead troll . . ." Dilbert arrives at home with his arm in a sling and wearing disheveled clothes. He tells Dogbert, "Then he beat me up and took my lunch money." Dogbert asks, "Are you saying I can get free lunch money by beating you up?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 1996's comic on:


Tags #serious threat, #competitors, #consultants, #eat our lunch, #executive comapny, #hired security guard, #lunches, #safe, #figure of speech, #better than usuaal, #cafeteria

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The Boss stands next to an overhead projector and says, "Last week our consultants warned us about a serious threat." The Boss continues, "They said our competitors would 'eat our lunch.'" The Boss continues, "I'm happy to tell the executive committee that I leapt into action." The Boss continues, "I hired a security guard to protect the cafeteria." The Boss concludes, "Our lunches are safe." An executive says to another, "I always thought that was just a figure of speech." The woman replies, "Fool! Give me your department!" One executive shouts, "Let go of my hair!!" One of them slaps the other and someone shouts, "Ouch!!" The Boss thinks, "This is going better than usual." Dilbert asks a security guard, "Why is the cafeteria closed?" The guard replies, "Someone ate all the lunches." He burps.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1997's comic on:


Tags #make copy, #secretary, #more cost effective, #highly paid, #document, #high level plnning, #secretary takes lunch, #never makes copy

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Dilbert holds a paper and says, "I'll make a quick copy and then we can discuss it." The Boss says, "No, no. I'll have my secretary do that." Dilbert protests, "That will take longer." The Boss says, "It's more cost-effective." The Boss hands the paper to Carol and says,"We're highly-paid professionals. Carol is... well... I don't know if we pay her at all." The Boss says, "Now we'refree to do high-level planning." DIlbert says, "Um... we kinda need that document." Carol is in her cubicle and drops the document on a stack of papers labeled "Urgent." She looks at her watch and says, "Ooh, time for lunch." Dilbert rests his head in his hands and the Boss says, "So... do you fish?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 1999's comic on:


Tags #fat man, #huge breakfast, #lunch, #until dinner, #work all night

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The boss walks with Asok. The boss says, "Asok, when I was your age I'd eat a huge breakfast, so I wouldn't have to stop working for lunch." The boss says, "Then I'd eat a huge lunch, so I could work all night, or until dinner, whichever came first." The boss says, "That's how I got to be the man I am today." Asok says, "Fat?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1999's comic on:


Tags #hammerhead bob, #lunch, #clean room, #speak louder, #tables

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Caption: "Hammerhead Bob" A man with a hammer for head says, to Alice and Tina , "Are you going to lunch? I'll join you!" Hammerhead Bob, Alice and Tina sit at a table. Alice and Tina are in pain. Boob says, "...And that's why it's called a "clean room." But how clean is it really?" Bob says, "I'll speal louder in case the other table want in on this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1998's comic on:


Tags #personal business, #lunch hour, #work through lunch, #take full hour, #internet, #business only, #limited zeros and ones

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Dilbert leans his head in the Boss's office and says, "I'm going to do some personal business during my lunch hour." Dilbert continues, "Normally I would work through lunch." Dilbert says, "But this will take a full hour." Dilbert turns to leave and says, "It would only take two minutes if I used the Internet." Dilbert turns back towards the Boss and wags his finger, saying, "But the internet is for business use only!" The Boss stares as Dilbert says, "Our company has a limited number of zeroes and ones." Dilbert holds out his arms and says, "When they're gone, they're gone. Furthermore..." Wally looks at Dilbert and asks, "You mocked him for a full hour?" Dilbert says, "Now it's time to eat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #know first aid, #marketing, #picked intern, #engineering dead pool, #team building pot luck, #lunch

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Asok the Intern is lying on the floor with his legs sticking straight up in the air. Dilbert says to Wally, Alice and The Boss, "I'll see if the guys in marketing know First Aid." Ted says to Dilbert, "Really? I picked that intern in our engineering dead pool!" Dilbert says to Wally and Alice as Asok continues lying on the floor, "Apparently our team-building potluck lunch didn't take."