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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #8am, #meeting, #useful work, #insulting, #good time management, #overlap

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Coworker: Can you come to my meeting at 8am tomorrow? Dilbert: No. I reserve the first few hours of every morning for useful work. Coworker: That feels like an insult. Dilbert: I call it good time management. There's a lot of overlap.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #libertarianism, #standards meeting, #elbonia, #legal, #meeting

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Boss: Wally, I need you to attend a standards meeting in Elbonia. Wally: Heh, heh. A lot of things are legal in Elbonia that aren't legal here. Boss: Are any of you not libertarians? Wally: Heh, heh, heh.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2012's comic on:


Tags #country, #etiquette & ethics, #meeting, #mens restroom, #sacred, #sacred shrine, #travel, #elbonia

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Boss: How was your meeting in Elbonia? Wally: Awesome! Did you know that the most sacred shrine in Elbonia looks exactly like a men's restroom? Boss: No. Wally: Right. So don't blame me for not knowing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1989's comic on:


Tags #criminals, #election, #meeting, #window

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, who is wearing a sash and carrying a flashlight, "I still think it's dumb to elect the only known criminal around as leader of the neighborhood crime watch." Dilbert responds, "Maybe 'Bad Ed' has changed." A brick crashes through the window. Dilbert reads the note on the brick and says, "It's from Ed. 'Next meeting: Tuesday at 8:00 P.M.'" Dogbert says, "I can't wait for the newsletter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #discuss project, #civility is dead, #invited to meeting, #office

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Coworker: What's a good time to get together and discuss my project? Dilbert: Never. Every interaction I've had with you has been a waste of time. I have no reason to think it will be different in the future. Coworker: Sheesh! How did civility die? Dilbert: Maybe you invited it to a meeting.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1994's comic on:


Tags #desparation, #fabric of spce, #fear, #helpless, #meeting forever, #time division, #marketing guy

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Wally: what shall we tell the guy from marketing this time? Dilbert: hee hee Let's see if we can make him feel a sense of helpless desperation and fear. The time -division multiplexer opened a hole in the fabric of space. Wally: we're trapped in this meeting forever.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #bathroom

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dilbert: We could have our next all-day staff meeting at my house. Alice: do you have actual furniture? Dilbert: Somebody will have to sit in the bathroom Wally: I call bathroom.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #all day meeting, #bathroom, #critique the decor, #house, #kitchen shoddy, #sub teams

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wally: "How foolish of you to host the all-day staff meeting at your house." "Let's form sub-teams to be more efficient. Ted will do accidental spills. Alice, you critique the decor. I'll be a floater." Alice: "Kichen, shoddily done..." Ted: "I spilled mayonaise on the wall." Wally: "Where's the bathroom?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bumper sticker, #cops are wuses, #house, #staff meeting, #tasteless hovel, #dilberts home

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The staff meeting at Dilbert's house ends Wally: I guess we're done abusing your tasteless hovel. Ted: It was somewhat dim witted of you to invite us to your house . Lets do it again real soon. Dogbert: I wondered if Id ever get to use my "cops are wusses" bumper stickers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #build, #meeting, #project kick off, #project manager, #super fast microchips, #harder to saboatge

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"Thank you all for coming to the project kick-off meeting." "As project manager I've decided not to tell you the purpose of the project. That way it will be harder for you to sabotage it." "Does it require ny super-fast microchips?" "Good lord, no. Don't build any of those...by Tuesday."