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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #valuable, #value, #legacy system, #less valuable, #never appear less valuable, #dress code troll

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Dilbert: I worry that being assigned to work on the legacy systems will make me appear less valuable in the future. Catbert: You have my word that you could never appear less valuable than you are now. Gilbert: Why do your assurances make me feel worse? Catbert: Your new dress code is "troll."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #eat, #scare, #Word, #troll, #dress code, #cubicle, #scaring vendors, #word gets around

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Dilbert: I got reassigned to manage our legacy systems. The dress code is "troll." My cubicle is under the walkway. My side job is scaring vendors. Dogbert: Is that hard? Dilbert: Only the first day. After you eat one vendor, work gets around.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #complain, #garbage, #job, #trash, #new assignment, #troll in charge, #legacy systems, #shouldn't complain, #economy, #free bag of garbage

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Dilbert: My new assignment is "troll in charge of the legacy systems." I guess I shouldn't complain. I'm lucky to have a job in this economy. Garbageman: Would a free bag of garbage make you feel better? Dilbert: A little.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #blame, #business failures/bankruptcies, #scapegoat, #troll to scapegoat, #goat costume, #take balme, #another deadline, #slapping goat

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The boss: I'm promoting you from legacy systems troll to scapegoat. Your job is to dress in a goat costume and take the blame for all of our projects failing. Ted: We milled another deadline. All in favor of slapping the goat...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2008's comic on:


Tags #blame, #costume, #meeting, #scapegoat, #senario set up, #luck

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Dilbert the scapegoat The Boss says, "I need you for a meeting with my boss." The Boss says, "About five minutes, into the meeting I'm going to start punching you. With any luck, my boss will join in." Dilbert says, "Maybe that shouldn?t be called luck." The Boss says, "Okay...Skill. Whatever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2008's comic on:


Tags #agreement, #areas of expertise, #business units, #confusion, #consolidate shared services, #diagnostic review, #evil director, #from centers, #invoice, #meeting, #presentation

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources man says, "My consultants can transform human resources." man says, "We'll start with a diagnostic review." man says, "Then you'll form centers of excellence around areas of expertise." man says, "Next, you'll consolidate shared services and drive continuous improvement." man says, "Business units will translate operational imperatives into HR actions. Catbert says, "Does any of that mean the same as firing idiots and cutting the budget?" man says, "Which answer gets us hired?" Catbert says, "Try yes." Man says, "Yes!" Catbert says, "Great. Put a bow on it and send me the invoice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2008's comic on:


Tags #blame, #costume, #date, #lying, #work clothes, #scapegoat, #depatment, #entire comapny, #men in unifrom

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Dilbert says, "I didn't have time to change out of my work clothes." Dilbert says, "I'm working as a scapegoat for my department. Someday I hope to be a scapegoat for the entire company." Dilbert says, "You told me women like men in uniform." Dogbert says, "I say things."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2008's comic on:


Tags #bragging, #rudeness, #selfishness, #stories, #goat cistume, #donated organs, #hollow torso, #backpack, #zipper, #family of squirrels

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Topper Returns Dilbert says, "I dreamed I was wearing a goat costume." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I donated all of my organs to sick people. Now I use my hollow torso like a backpack." "Dilbert says, "And I tried to go on a date." Topper says, "See my zipper? I took in a family of squirrels!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2008's comic on:


Tags #animals, #livestock, #punishment, #rudeness, #preventer of information, #mordac, #penalty, #relocation, #agrarian society, #cow knows, #rebooting, #call tech support

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Mordac, the preventer of information services Mordac says, "You have exceeded your allocation for I.T. support." Mordac says, "The penalty is forcible relocation to an agrarian society." Cow says, "Seriously, even a cow knows you should try rebooting before calling tech support."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2008's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #garbage, #gift, #sarcasm, #re gifted, #free

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Ratbert says, "The best things in life are free, so I got you this." Dilbert says, "This looks like trash from my garbage can." Ratbert says, "You're welcome." Ratbert says, "I only chewed on the delicious parts!" Dilbert says, "Spank you very much."