You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #writing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got the incomprehensible not you left on my desk. I wanted to let you know that I "flermmed the plootash" just as you asked. Boss: What makes you this way? Dilbert: Maybe my DNA is flermmed

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #avarice, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Is that a picture of your kids? No personal items are allowed in cubicles! Employee: It's not personal. My kids are only in it for the money. Boss: It's more of a gray are than you'd think.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #executives, #wages, #rich people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hey, look! There's a story on the Internet about your fabulous CEO lifestyle. Here's a picture of your yacht, your penthouse in New York, your palatial estate, and your priceless art. CEO: This really isn't the time. Dilbert: Said the man with the million-dollar watch.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2013's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #frustration, #committees

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Does everyone agree with the plan? Woman 1: It depends. Man 1: Ask me later. Man 2: Eh. Woman 2: I'll think about it. Dilbert: Make a decision!!! Voice: Is this your first day? The Noncommittal Committee

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2013's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #employees

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You need to work less. Wally: Your productivity is making us look bad. Tina: If you keep being productive, we will hunt you down. Wally: If it's easy. Alice: About the peer review concept... I don't think you thought it through.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2013's comic on:


Tags #inventions

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I found a way to automate the hardest part of my job. I used to do a log of "management by walking around." It was exhausting. Now I just send my drone. I designed it myself and had it built in Elbonia. The hydrogen makes it lighter than air. Dilbert: Hydrogen? Boss: Let's see what Ted is up to. He's wearing a wool sweater today. Ted: Oh, the humanity! Boss: Hold this.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger, #optimism

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Experts say I should surround myself with people who are positive influences. Alice: I'M ON A CALL! Asok: I think I absorbed some bad energy. Wally: Go away before you bum me out.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #electronic mail

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I traced all of our problems back to your lack of creativity. You should be creating ideas that change the course of civilization, but instead, you sit there like a lump. Dilbert: I'm sending you a link that describes fun ways to choke yourself.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #christmas, #christmas presents, #physics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Merry Christmas! This gift is based on the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics. There's a cat in here that's neither dead nor alive. Dilbert: Where are the airholes? Dogbert: I have control issues.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #surprise

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The key to success is having passion for what you do! Dilbert: You make a good point. I quit. Wally: I'm out of here. Alice: Me, too. CEO: You promised me they wouldn't listen. Boss: It caught me by surprise, too.