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Alice: Looks like I'll be adding this guy to my list. Dilbert: List? Alice: I keep a list of who to visit first when society breaks down and there is no rule of law. Dilbert: To build alliances? Alice: That's the sort of optimism that gets you killed in the first hour.
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Boss: Wally, did you Uberize the slide deck? Wally: I harmonized it in the cloud. Boss: Are we ready for a trans-domain kick-off? Wally: I put a disruptive mesh network in the microservices of the Internet of things. Boss: Will that be good enough to "ask the fridge" or do I need to start disintermediating? Wally: It depends on if we have enough bandwidth to growth-hack the analytics. Boss: I just hope our clicks-and-mortar strategy staircases. Dilbert: I'm almost certain that was nonsense. Wally: Sometimes it's about the journey.
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Team Interview. Dilbert: To be perfectly honest, Bob, you are unqualified to work here. Bob: Your boss already hired me. He told me to talk to you so you'd feel included in the decision. Wait... did I miss a huge red flag? Dilbert: We all did. Welcome to the team.
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Boss: My kid's school is looking for someone to mentor girls interested in stem careers. Alice: Are you asking me to do that because I'm a woman? Would you ask a man to do that? Boss: This went bad fast. Alice: Tell Wally to do it. He's not busy.