Search Results for "Asok"

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Asok Learns To Rank Priorities

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Asok Learns To Rank Priorities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #priorities, #Advice, #hate, #misanthrope, #misanthropy, #organization

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Asok: I'm overworked because I don't know how to set priorities. Alice: Try ranking your tasks by how much you hate the people who asked for your help. Asok: What if I don't hate anyone? Alice: That problem solves itself over time.

Asok Approves

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Asok Approves - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #desperate, #desperation, #intern, #subordinate, #value, #importance

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Asok: I hear you need everyone's buy-in to proceed with your project. Dilbert: Everyone except you. No one cares what interns think. Asok: May I please approve it so I feel alive? Dilbert: Well... okay. But you owe me one.

Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man

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Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #social media, #twitter, #public speaking, #embarrassment, #spokesperson, #killing, #racism, #assumption

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Boss: Our company spokesperson embarrassed us on social media. Does this qualify him for an "honor killing?" Asok: No, and you're a racist. Boss: Here's what he said on social media. Asok: Okay, I'm in.

Asok Kills The Wrong Cartoonist

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Asok Kills The Wrong Cartoonist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Garfield, #hit man, #cartoonist, #mistaken identity

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Asok: I killed our spokesperson, Jim Davis, yesterday, as you ordered. Boss: You killed the wrong cartoonist! Asok: Now I hate Mondays even more.

Asok Has Worst Job In The World

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Asok Has Worst Job In The World - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #hit man, #job, #happiness, #satisfaction, #doppelganger, #double, #lookalike

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Asok: I thought I accidentally killed the creator of Garfield, but it turns out I killed his body double. Our boss ordered me to do the hit. I have the worst job in the world. Dilbert: No, I think that body double has the worst job. Asok: I'm only talking about the living.

Asok Is Offended By Wally

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Asok Is Offended By Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #offense, #insult, #offensive, #fighting, #nonviolent resistance

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Asok: I hear you have been comparing yourself to Gandhi, the father of my birth country. That is offensive. It makes me want to punch you. Wally: Have you tried fasting instead? I hear good things about it.

Asok Is In The Jargon Matrix

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Asok Is In The Jargon Matrix - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2017's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #language, #breakdown, #nonsense

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Carol: Come quickly. I think Asok entered the jargon matrix. Asok: At the end of the day, I want some actionable insights that will improve our cross-platform integration. Carol: Can he hear us? Dilbert: Yes, but our words are just noise to him now. Asok: Silo.

Dilbert Red Pills Asok

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Dilbert Red Pills Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #language, #nonsense, #productivity, #illusion, #alternate reality

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Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.

Asok Should Not Brag

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Asok Should Not Brag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #design, #bragging, #credit, #attention

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Asok: I did a great job on this design. Wally: Whoa! Whoa! No one likes a braggart. Keep your boasting to yourself. Boss: Didn't Asok help you with this design? Wally: Asok? Never heard of him.

Alice Helps Asok With Slides

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Alice Helps Asok With Slides  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #powerpoint, #slide, #Advice, #speech

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Asok: Can you help me edit my slides for my CEO presentation? I have 75 slides and ten minutes to present. Alice: Get rid of 74 of them. Asok: I'll ask someone else.