Search Results for "Dilmom"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2009's comic on:


Tags #walking, #complaining, #cruel, #mean, #mother, #son

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilmom Dilmom says, "How's work, Dilbert?" Dilbert says, "I'm doing the job of three people and my pay has been cut 20%" Dilbert says, "My investments are worthless and my odds of finding a suitable mate are nearing zero." Dilbert says, "My life has no meaning, no joy and no hope." Dilbert says, "Do you have any motherly advice?" Dilmom says, "Shake it off, you big wuss." Dilmom says, "And you can pass that wisdom to the grandchildren you won't be having." Dilbert says, "You're not good at this." Dilmom says, "Eat broccoli. Whatever."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #act ineterested, #air gap, #boring, #doing at work, #hurt when i hurt, #mother, #no empathy for son, #no pain, #dilberts mother

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks, "Do you want to hear what I'm doing at work?" Dilbert's mom is holding a plant. She replies, "Not so much." Dilbert says, "You're supposed to act interested because you're my mother." His mom replies, "Well..." Her voice continues, "I'm not saying you're boring, it's just that everything you talk about is boring." Dilbert says, "That's the same as saying I'm boring." Dilbert's mom is watering a plant. She responds, "Only when you talk." Dilbert asks, "But you care about me, right? When I hurt, you hurt?" Dilbert's mom has put down her plant. She says, "Actually, the electrical impulses in your brain don't fly across the air gap to my brain." She continues, "You could be writhing in agony and I wouldn't feel a thing." Dilbert looks down and says, "Ouch." Dilbert's picks up her plant again and says, "air gap."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2000's comic on:


Tags #birthday, #mothers birthday, #warp up present, #an hour later, #throwing towel, #element of suprise, #no waste paper, #cookies

View Transcript

Transcript

In the kitchen, Dilbert says to his mother, "I've been thinking about your birthday, Mom." His mother says, "How sweet." Dilbert says to his mother, "It seems so inefficient to wrap up your present." As they carry milk and cookies out of the kitchen, Dilbert says to his mother, "You'll just rip up the wrapping paper an hour later." As his mother sets the cookies down, Dilbert says to her, "So I was thinking of throwing a towel over it instead." Dilbert says to his mother, "You'd get all of the element of surprise without wasting paper." Dilbert says to his mother, "Maybe I can use one of your towels so I don't have to lug one from my house." Dilbert's mom says, "Of course, dear. I wouldn't want you to lug a big heavy towel just for me." Dilbert reaches for a cookie and says, "Good. It's settled." His mother says to him, "Those aren't for you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #Family, #right to asylum, #surveillance, #execute dilbert, #treason, #top secret data, #graves, #shovel, #backyard

View Transcript

Transcript

NSA Agent: Your son is a traitor who stole top-secret data from his own government. We'd like you to talk him into leaving the Elbonian embassy so we can execute him for treason.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #magic, #thinking, #already exits, #morphic field, #pseudo scinec, #crappy genes, #filberts mother, #explains things

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Every time I think I've invented something, I find out it already exists. Mombert: Maybe that's because all minds are connected by the morphic field. Dilbert: Morphic fields are pseudoscience, mom. Mombert: I also blame your dad's crappy genes.