Search Results for "boss"
Share April 27, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: "I want you to help me upgrade the computer in my office." Dilbert: "The computer in your office is a cardboard prop that came with your desk." The Boss: "So, I need a new motherboard, right?" Dilbert: "No, you need a new desk."
Share May 31, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: "Dilbert, I'm sending you to 'diversity sensitivity' training." "Alice doesn't have to go because chicks are born already knowing this stuff. It's as natural as shopping and crying." Dilbert: "Can I get a 'Midol' for either one of you?" "Whump whump whump"
Share July 04, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: Here's my daily project status report. Morale is low. There is talk of mutiny. we dream of quitting and becoming lifeguards on "Baywatch" Death to the pointy haired one. The Boss: Holy Cow! "Baywatch' is hiring??!
Share July 05, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: Do you remember when the company President visited? You asked why your project had been cancelled. He promised to get an answer, That task has been delegated all the way down to me. Id like you to craft a response for me, You'll have to put your new project on hold until this is done.
Share August 01, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: We've hired the Dogbert Ad Agency to give our company a new image. Mark: AAAGH! MARK: Sure, Sure...I"ll do it, but I'll have this expression the whole time. and just maybe I"ll complain behind your back!! The Boss: Never mind, I'll do it myself. Oh, right, keep the good assignment,
Share September 07, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: We'll be getting a new "Bungee Boss" sometime today. Hi - Im -your- new- boss- lets- change- every- thing- beef- I- get- reassigned- pops- too- late- goodbye. sproing wally: He was like a mentor to me. Dilbert: I think he made a difference. The Boss: Incoming!
Share November 19, 1994's comic on:
Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I suddenly realized that MY job performance reflects on YOUR career." Wally continues, "The balance of power has shifted. Unless I get what I want, I'll lower my performance until you get fired." The Boss responds, "Ha! There's no way you could lower your job performance." Wally says, "Curse your eyes!"
Share December 05, 1994's comic on:
The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss says, "We've studied the Japanese model and decided to copy their best practices." Dilbert says, "Long term investing?" The Boss holds up a microphone and yells, "Karaoke!" The Boss stands on the table and sings, "Shaft! Can you dig it?" Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "Thank God we don't have lifetime employment."
Share February 03, 1995's comic on:
Alice stands in front of the Boss's desk dressed in a shirt, tie and pants. She says to the Boss, "I'm dressing like a man to protest the company's dress code." The Boss asks, "So, what you're saying is that you're actually a woman. Is that your claim?" Alice says, "That's not exactly the point." The Boss says, "I saw 'The Crying Game.' Don't do anything that would make me heave."
Share February 10, 1995's comic on:
Alice shows the Boss a document and says angrily, "When you consider the hours I work, I make less per hour than the janitor!" The janitor enters carrying a plunger with a small animal sticking out of it. He says to the Boss, "Look what was blocking the pipes! It took me all morning to plunge the rascal out." Alice and the Boss look surprised. Still looking shocked, Alice says, "I love my job." The Boss says, "I'm giving him a raise."