Search Results for "insulting"
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Character
Tuesday January 20,
2015
Ceo Succession Plan
Tags #inheritance & succession, #insulting, #strategy, #loser, #incompetent, #honor, #be considered
Transcript
CEO: The board is getting on me for not having a succession plan. Find me a loser who is so incompetent that the board won't want to fire me. Boss: It's an honor to even be considered! Catbert: I was going to say that!
Monday January 26,
2015
What Phase Of The Project
Tags #insult, #insulting, #project, #questioning
Transcript
Boss: What phase is your project in? Dilbert: This is the phase where people ask stupid questions. Boss: How long does it last? Dilbert: It isn't looking good for today.
Sunday March 08,
2015
Tags #catch-22, #compliment, #compliments, #insult, #insulting, #work ethic, #technical skills, #perfect attendance, #risk averse, #no social life, #irrational needs, #code writing puppet
Transcript
Boss: You're a perfect employee in many ways. Dilbert: I am? Boss: For example, you have excellent technical skills. Dilbert: That's true. Boss: And your attendance is perfect. Dilbert: Yes, it is. Boss: And you are too risk-averse to quit and start your own company. Dilbert: What? Boss: Plus, you have no social life to interfere with work.Dilbert: Are these still compliments? Boss: Combine all of that with your irrational need for approval, and it makes you a code-writing puppet. Did I already say you're underpaid? Dilbert: Stop complimenting me!
Saturday May 02,
2015
Dilbert Almost Done Commenting
Tags #insult, #insulting, #idiot, #criticism, #critique, #name-calling
Transcript
Boss: Did you comment on my technology strategy yet? Dilbert: Almost done. Do you object to the word "idiot?" Boss: Yes. Dilbert: I might need another day.
Wednesday May 13,
2015
Agree With Idiots To Gain Trust
Tags #condescention, #condescending, #agreement, #mocking, #insult, #insulting
Transcript
Boss: Stop agreeing with me in ways that sound like you don't mean it. Dilbert: Experts say one should first agree with idiots to gain trust before trying to change their minds. Boss: You need to stop doing that. Dilbert: You are so right about that.
Wednesday June 24,
2015
Wally's Hobby
Tags #compliment, #insult, #backhanded compliment, #hobby, #obliviousness, #deception
Transcript
Wally: Your strategy looks like a genius way to fight the last war. Boss: Thank you. Wally: No problem. You owe me a compliment. At what point does insulting your boss and getting away with it count as a hobby?
Wednesday July 15,
2015
Advice
Tags #ego, #talking, #conversation, #Advice, #insult, #insulting, #suggestion
Transcript
Coworker: Do you want some advice? Dilbert: Nope. Advice is just ego and ignorance disguised as helpfulness. Coworker: Then how will I hear myself talk? Dilbert: The supply cabinet has an awesome echo.
Monday July 31,
2017
Scientists Confirm We Are Simulations
Tags #reality, #simulation, #aliens, #alternate universe, #perception
Transcript
News: Scientists confirmed that our reality is actually a software simulation created by an advanced civilization. Dilbert: That makes no sense unless the advanced civilization is a bunch of psychopaths who like to see us suffer. Catbert1: One of the idiots in our simulation is insulting us. Catbert2: I'm going to break his phone screen.
Tuesday October 24,
2017
Boss Is Not A Quitter
Tags #social media, #internet, #troll, #trolling, #baiting
Transcript
Boss: That stupid online troll is insulting me again on social media! I keep defending myself, but instead of agreeing with me, he keeps calling me "defensive" and "pathetic," Carol: Maybe you could stop engaging with him. Boss: I'm not a quitter!
Monday October 23,
2017
Boss Gets A Troll
Tags #troll, #social media, #trolling, #insult
Transcript
Boss: This idiot keeps insulting me on social media! Every time I block him, he returns with a new account. It's like he never has anything better to do. Dilbert: Do you have a new hobby? Wally: It's more like a passion.