Search Results for "lying"
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Dilbert: I keep speaking truth to power, but it isn't working for me. Wally: Try lying to weasels. It doesn't look as good on a bumper sticker but it gets the job done. Dilbert: That sounds like a terrible idea. Wally: Then why are you doing it right now?
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Share April 13, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert asks Bob the Dinosaur, "Are you saying dinosaurs are incapable of lying?" Bob replies, "Almost." Bob looks at Dawn the Dinosaur and continues, "Dawn and I taught ourselves some simple lies for survival . . . We'll show you . . ." Bob says, "I've never been tempted to read the 'National Enquirer.'" Dawn says, "I only watch the news and some educational programs."
Share November 24, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Dogbert, look what I got at the joke store: exploding cigars!" Dilbert says as he lights a trick cigar, "Heh-heh . . . These are hilarious - watch." The cigar explodes. Dogbert looks at Dilbert, who is lying on the floor. Dogbert says, "I think you're supposed to get OTHER people to smoke them." Dilbert replies, "Too late now; I'm hooked."
Share July 20, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert sees Ratbert lying on the sidewalk. Dogbert says, "Ratbert! What happened to you?" Ratbert sits up and replies, "My Chihuahua disguise worked. I've been taunted and chased all day by bigots who hate Chihuahuas for no reason." Ratbert says, "There's an important lesson in this." Dogbert asks, "What? Chihuahuas are evil?"
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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I got a job as a used car salesman." Dilbert asks, "Does it pay well?" Dogbert replies, "I'm not in it for the money. I just enjoy lying to strangers." Dogbert shows a car to a customer and says, "This one was owned by Carlos the Diamond Smuggler. It corners well, but the gas mileage is bad -- almost as if it has weights hidden in the door panels."
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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I quit my job as a used car salesman." Dilbert asks, "Because you couldn't keep lying?" Dogbert replies, "No, the lying was good. I liked that part." Dilbert asks, "Was it because crime doesn't pay?" Dogbert says, "I made $400,000 this week. I'm retired now." Dilbert says, "I don't think this will ever be a 'Reader's Digest' very special story."
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A senator at a table says into a microphone, "Mister Dogbert, the Senate Judiciary Committee will begin the questioning." The senator asks, "How would you interpret Roe versus Wade?" Dogbert replies, "They're lying. I deny everything." The senator says, "We're not accusing you . . ." Dogbert says, "Hey, I didn't bring it up!"