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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 1999's comic on:


Tags #meeting moth, #attracted to meetings, #resist the urge, #beat myself, #senseless, #sense off purpose

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Dilbert in his co-workers sit in the conference room. The meeting moth approaches and thinks, "The 'meeting moth' is attracted to all meetings." Wally and Dilbert sit as the meeting moth enters the room. He says, "Excuse me. I can't resist the urge to beat myself senseless on your table." Dilbert and Wally stand and watch as the meeting moth climbs on the table and begins to bang it's head and body on it. Wally says, "You have to envy his sense of purpose."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2000's comic on:


Tags #boss office, #coup, #parked, #reserved spot, #scheduled meetings

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The boss is holding a briefcase and he says to Carol, who is at her computer: "Carol, you parked in my reserved space." Carol hands a sheet of paper to the boss ans says: "I scheduled you to drive to meetings all day." The boss answers: "Oh." Carol is at her cubicle and thinks: "Tomorrow I move my stuff into his office and the coup is complete."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #doomed projects, #fake mergencies, #more efficient, #unnecessary meetings, #to do list

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Sitting at his computer, Dilbert thinks to himself "This to-do list will make me more efficient." Dilbert continues thinking to himself, "I have three fake emergencies, two doomed projects, four unnecessary meetings..." At home, Dilbert says to Dogbert "I figured out why you never ask me how my day day went." Dogbert replies, shooing Dilbert away with one hand, "Off you go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #mandatory lunchtime meetings, #life work balance, #high five, #Catbert

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Catbert and the boss are sitting at a table. Catbert says, "How about mandatory lunchtime meetings?" The boss says, "On the subject of Work-Life Balance!" The boss and Catbert high five each other. Wally and Dilbert peek over a cubicle divider at the the boss, whose hand is bandaged. Wally says, "Uh-oh. He's been high-fiving Catbert again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #no raise, #not enough questions, #meetings, #care about job, #thirst for knowledge, #likes wood

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Asok the Intern sits across from the Boss. The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise. You don't ask enough questions in meetings." The Boss continues, "Questions show that you care about your job and have a thirst for knowledge." Asok is seen at a staff meeting, hand raised, asking, "Who else likes wood?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #meeting to discuss, #employee retention, #employees quit, #useless meetings, #reasons, #first meetings

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The Boss comes into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We're having a meeting to discuss employee retention." Dilbert replies, "Tell them that employees quit because there are too many useless meetings." The Boss says, "We won't be getting into reasons at the first meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #selfish, #dimwitted, #six sigma consulatant, #bog down meetings, #process, #can't hurt anything

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Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert is standing in front of a room. He says, "All of you are selfish and dimwitted but don't worry." Dogbert continues, "I'll teach you a process that will bog you down in meetings so you can't hurt anything." Asok panics and exclaims, "I can't move my arms!" The rest of the class is asleep.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2001's comic on:


Tags #meeting called, #discuss issues, #assign tasks, #waste of time, #meetings, #become lifeform, #reproducing human josts

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Dilbert walks into a meeting and asks, "Who called this meeting?" The male coworker replies, "We thought you did." The coworker continues, "I think we should discuss issues and assign tasks so it's not a complete waste of time." Dilbert responds, "Maybe meetings have become a lifeform capable of calling themselves and thus reproducing via human hosts." The male coworker turns to the female coworker and says, "Good issue." She replies, "Wow!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2002's comic on:


Tags #staff meetings, #late for meetings, #ten minutes, #stupid stuff, #fine work, #noticing

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Can anyone tell me why everyone is always late for my staff meetings?" Alice responds, "Because the first ten minutes are always stupid stuff like 'What are people late?'" Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "Alice, that was some of your finest work." Alice responds, "Thank you for noticing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2002's comic on:


Tags #improve morale, #want drinking enough, #coffee meetings, #never leave table

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The Boss says to Wally, "I'm having these coffee meetings to find out how I can improve morale." Wally responds, "My only problem was that I wasn't drinking enough coffee with you. So now I'm good, thanks." Wally continues, "Promise me you'll never leave this table. I can't go back to the way things were."