Search Results for "technology"
Share May 03, 1997's comic on:
The caption says, "Designing a brochure." Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man from marketing. Dilbert says, "We'll want to emphasize the things that make our product unique." The man says, "Good good." Dilbert says, "Let's see . . . We have higher prices . . . Stale technology . . . Fewer features . . . And it's hard to use." Dilbert asks, "Can you work with that?" The man replies, "Suddenly I don't feel so bad that we won't be using 100 percent recycled paper."
Share May 10, 1997's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We did an industry survey to see how your salaries compared to the average." The Boss continues, "We didn't get the numbers we hoped for, so we broadened the definition of 'our industry.'" Wally says, "I'm so happy to be in the industry of 'high technology, textile workers, teen-agers, and dead people.'" Dilbert says, "I feel overpaid."
Share July 14, 1997's comic on:
The Boss stands behind Alice in her cubicle. She sits at a PC. The Boss says, "I've been asked to give a presentation at the trade show." The Boss says, "I'd like you to put that together for me, Alice." Alice asks, "What's your topic?" The Boss replies, "Technology. They didn't say if I'm for it or against it." Alice says, "I'll leave some wiggle room."
Share July 29, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert and an engineer from the other company sit at a table. Dilbert has a laptop computer open. Dilbert asks, "Tell me the truth. Use the engineer's secret code if you must." Dilbert continues, "Are there any little problems with the technology that my managers agreed to buy from your company?" The other engineer laughs, "Ha Ha Snort Snort Ha Ha Ha!!!" Dilbert types into his laptop and says, "1100111... Good. Go on."
Share July 30, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a desk with a computer on it. Dogbert sits atop the computer. Dilbert says, "It's my job to integrate the bad technology that our idiot boss bought with the good technology we already own. Your advice?" Dogbert waves his arms in the air, "Throw away the bad technology. Goof off until the next planned upgrade of the good technology. Tell your boss the improvements are a result of his brilliant buying decision." Dilbert says, "Wow. That's almost pure evil." Dogbert says, "You're welcome."
Share September 16, 1997's comic on:
Alice sits at her computer, behind her is Mordac. He says, "I am Mordac the Preventer, your liason from the information technology department." Mordac says, "I come with tales of resource shortages. Your request for our services has been denied." Alice stands up and is much taller than Mordac. She says, "I didn't request any of your services." Mordac replies, "Don't try your reverse psychology on me."
Share December 15, 1997's comic on:
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I hired some contract employees from North Elbonia to help on your project." Dilbert says, "North Elbonia is an evil totalitarian regime. My project will create top secret military technology to use against them." The Boss says, "Sure, but you have to weigh that against the fact that they're willing to work for free."
Share December 19, 1997's comic on:
In a meetin, Dilbert says, "My project has hit a little snag." Dilbert says, "Our North Elbonian contracts stole our military technology for their belligerent homeland. They're building a huge laser to vaporize us." Alice's eyes bulge out. The Boss says, "Next year, remind me to include contract employees in the team-building workshop." Alice says, "The floor is warm!"
Share December 20, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert says, ",,,The North Elbonians stole our military technology. We think they're building a huge laser to use against us." Dogbert says, "Ask Tina the Tech Writer to create a user manual for them. Remind Tina how the North Elbonians treat women." Caption: Later in North Elbonia. The Elbonians line up in front of the barrel of a large laser gun. The guy in front reads "Okay... the timer is set... we're lined up in single file.. now we sing a Helen Reddy song."
Share May 16, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a line graph titled, "$". Dilbert says, "I had to make some optimistic assumptions to meet the revenue target." The Boss is sitting behind Dilbert, looking at the graph. Dilbert continues, "In week three, we're visited by an alien named D'utox Inag who offers to share his advanced technology." The Boss asks, "Then do we use his technology to design our new product?" Dilbert replies, "No, we kill him and sell the autopsy video."