Search Results for "boss"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Notice: Too many results returned for your search. Displaying the first 1000 most relevant results.

Boss Doesn't See Email

Thank you for voting.
Boss Doesn't See Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #space, #astronaut, #engineering, #laziness, #bureaucracy, #accident

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The crew of our first spaceship suffocated on the launchpad. Apparently, I got an email last week asking for approval to repair the oxygen generator. Carol: You killed them with your incompetence? Boss: I can't take all the credit. It was a team effort.

Boss Needs One Minute

Thank you for voting.
Boss Needs One Minute - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #attention, #developer, #distraction, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you have a minute? Dilbert: Yes. But I don't have the fifteen minutes it will take me to get back into the coding "zone" after your interruption. Boss: I only need one minute. Dilbert: What planet are you from?

Boss Thought Of It First

Thank you for voting.
Boss Thought Of It First - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #credit, #ideas, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: And that's my idea. I think it's brilliant. Boss: I thought of that idea right before you said it. Alice: What are the odds of that? Boss: It happens to me all the time.

Coaching Alice

Thank you for voting.
Coaching Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #coaching, #mentor, #boss, #manager, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you want some coaching? Alice: Heck yes. If you find someone who knows my job better than I do, send them my way. Boss: Maybe I could share my wisdom with you. Alice: Can you teach me how to stay calm when some idiot interrupts me?

Trust The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Trust The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #trust, #confidence, #vampire, #dead, #trustworthy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're not planning any changes, trust me. Dilbert: Trust you? I've seen your browser history. I wouldn't trust you to guard a funeral home. Boss: That's the easiest job ever. Just drive stakes through the hearts of the dead and they'll stay put. Dilbert: To my point.

Keeping The Boss Away

Thank you for voting.
Keeping The Boss Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #interference, #huddle, #scrum

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What time is the team huddle? Dilbert: I can't tell you. As the team scrum, it is my job to keep you from interfering. Boss: Then I guess we're both doing what we're supposed to do. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.

Evil Orc

Thank you for voting.
Evil Orc - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #fantasy, #virtual reality, #work, #boss, #orc, #monster

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I wrote a VR program that turns the workplace into a "Lord Of The Rings" adventure. Gaaaa!!! It's an evil orc! Boss: I guess your program randomly assigns characters to real people. Dilbert: Um, yes, random.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #ventriloquism, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "The engineering department is finishing all of their projects early and we don't know why." CEO says, "Tell them to do a powerpoint presentation at the next executive retreat to share their methods." Asok says, "Now it's my turn to use the dead boss hand puppet!" Alice says, "Uh-oh."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2011's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "I created a portal to a parallel universe. My success was possible because Alice killed our boss so we are all more productive." Alice says, "Step aside. The cops have been sniffing around and I need something from the other universe." Alice says, "Look on the bright side, Asok. Some other universe just got a lot more productive."