Search Results for "camera"
Share May 25, 2000's comic on:
The caption reads: "CEO as Spokesperson." The CEO is seen leaning over a chair seductively with her hair tossed to one side. Dogbert stands behind the camera and she asks, "What does this pose have to do with our product?" Dogbert answers, "I'll use blue screen technology to add important elements later." The CEO says, "My blouse is blue." A voluptuous woman stands in towel behind Dogbert. Dogbert turns to her and says, "Five minutes."
Share March 29, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert is watching television and hears, "Buy your electricity from the Dogbert Power Company." Dogbert, in front of a TV camera, says, "We generate all of our power with the help of California environmentalists." Two workmen are carrying a man wrapped tightly in a blanket. They're preparing to put the man in the fire in a large furnace. One workman says to the other, "These are getting harder to find lately."
Share October 17, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert says in front of the camera, "...Everyone should buy stock in that company. Sell your house if necessary." A man replies into the camera, "Should we worry that the P/E is 900, your track record is terrible and you only recommend stocks you own?" The Boss is sitting in his office watching TV. Dogbert's voice is heard through the TV, "Well, Ron, as you can see from the one-week chart, this stock only goes up." The Boss says into the phone, "Buy! Buy!"
Share April 01, 2004's comic on:
Doctor Dogbert Show Dogbert: Today we'll meet a couple who have a common problem. Big woman: I make him sleep in a gigantic hot dog bun. Dogbert: Can I see it? Man: No... please big woman: And the problem is that he snores.
Share April 25, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert says, "The flash on our smart phone prototype is so strong that it's dangerous." The boss says, "I'd better show this to our CEO." Dilbert says, "Is that really a good idea?" Dogbert says, "Now pose with Ted so I can get a group shot."
Share June 08, 2008's comic on:
Dogbert says, "I decided to produce a reality show about your life." Dilbert says, "What?" Dogbert says, "The cameras will follow you around and capture all of your failures and humiliations." Dilbert says, "Why would I agree to that?" Dogbert says, "Because you suffer from the dull ache of insignificance." Dogbert says, "You can only fill the horrible void in your soul by fathering children or being famous." Dilbert says, "Maybe I prefer to have children." Dogbert says, "And maybe you prefer to flap your ears and fly to Mars." Dogbert says, "Do you see where I'm going with this?" BOP A cameraman says, "Sorry."
Share October 23, 2014's comic on:
Alice: I met with that angel investor at his house and he answered the door pantsless and drunk. So I snapped a few photos with my phone and secured a million-dollar seed investment. Was that wrong? Dilbert: Let's call it a tie.
Share November 26, 2016's comic on:
CEO: I heard you appeared naked on Elbonian television. Dilbert: I did? CEO: The only television show in Elbonia is a live feed from their airport full-body scanners. Dilbert: That can't be true. CEO: One of our subsidiaries built the system. Here's you.
Share August 09, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: According to my employee body cam playback, you contradicted yourself eleven times today. Boss: Your stupid body cam is interfering with my ability to manage. Dilbert: By "manage," do you mean contradicting yourself and later denying it? Boss: I don't not mean that.