Search Results for "idea"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2002's comic on:


Tags #reducing inventory, #sell to cutomers, #feel free, #tell board, #idea

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss asks Wally and Dilbert, "Does anyone have a suggestion for reducing our inventory?" Wally responds, "Let's sell it to our customers." The Boss asks, "Would that work?" Wally replies, "Feel free to tell the board that it's your idea."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #ask them, #feeling embarrassed, #money, #negotiating with vendors, #phd, #right thing, #thinking of idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I have a PHD, so obviously you should do what I say. Instead of negotiating with vendors, lets just tell them how much money we have and ask them yo do the right thing. You're probably feeling embarrassed for not thinking of the idea yourself. Alice: Must...not...shave...PHD.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2004's comic on:


Tags #least popular feature, #generate revenue, #save money, #steal idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I recommend that we eliminate the least popular features because they cost us more than they generate in revenue. The Boss: I have an idea. Lets laminate the least popular features to save money. Dilbert: I suggest that we eliminate the least popular features . The Boss: I steal that idea to infinity.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2004's comic on:


Tags #consultation, #enbrace idea, #frees your mid, #profitable products, #ultra donut, #40 thousand calories, #sharp objects

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Dogbert: Once you embrace the idea that your customers deserve to die... ...it frees your mind to invent splendidly profitable products. Its called the ultra - donut: forty thousand calories and filled with sharp objects.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 1999's comic on:


Tags #few changes, #vinery idea, #unimaginative retread, #idea, #discredited, #energizing force, #chat, #manage someone else

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss brings Dilbert a piece of paper. He tells him, "Good idea, Dilbert ... I made a few changes and sent it out." Dilbert reads the paper and screams, "GAAA!" Dilbert says, "You removed the parts that made it a visionary idea!" As the Boss stares at him blankly, Dilbert continues, "Now it's just an unimaginative retread of an idea that has been widely discredited." Dilbert yells in shock, "GAAA! AND IT HAS MY NAME ON IT!" Dilbert collapses back on his desk, saying, "That idea was the energizing force that gave me strength to work." Dilbert yells, "NOW IT'S DEAD! YOU KILLED IT!" Dilbert lies backwards, his head on his desk, gurgling. The Boss says, "I'd love to chat but I have to manage someone else now."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #dilbert.com, #owls for fuel, #new suv, #good idea, #start breeding owls

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My new SUV uses owls for fuel. It seemed like a good idea but now I can't find enough owls. Carol: "You'll have to start your own owls." The boss: "That's what I figured." The Hilarious conclusion to this comic has been deemed offensive, If you must know how it ends, go to dilbert.com

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2005's comic on:


Tags #leadership succession plan, #freeze hiring, #staff, #pormotion, #bad idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: "You have to have a leadership succession plan." "There's a freeze on hiring, so you'll have to pick someone from your staff." Alice: "So, if something horrible happened to you, I'd get a promotion?" The boss: "This was a bad idea."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2005's comic on:


Tags #bed idea, #new sourpuss, #optimism, #leadership 90 5 opitimism

View Transcript

Transcript

"Meet our new Sourpuss." "I heard that every office has one. And we didn't, so I went out and got one." "Does anything ever sound like a bad idea to you?" "Leadership is 90% optimism."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2005's comic on:


Tags #vp of enguneering, #saving money, #databases, #slices idea, #errors, #asok

View Transcript

Transcript

V.P. of Engineering "Then I had the idea of saving money by combining our four databases." "Excuse me. That was Alice's idea. You said it was impossible, so she did it on her own time." "Carry on. I'll jump in if I notice any more errors."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2005's comic on:


Tags #venture capitalist, #most desparate, #vc business, #idea worth funding, #crooked teeth

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm Vijay, the world's most desperate venture capitalist." "The VC business is more competitive than ever. I'm going to stalk you until you come up with an idea worth funding." "No pressure, but all of my kids have crooked teeth."