Search Results for "intelligence"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #insult, #insults, #insulting

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our robot will be sitting in for me while I'm on vacation. I hope you can get used to taking orders from a soulless creature of questionable intelligence. Wally: I think I can do that. Boss: That's the spirit!

Hire People Smarter Than You

Thank you for voting.
Hire People Smarter Than You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #insult, #insults, #insulting, #Promotion, #managers, #intelligence, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you interested in becoming a manager? Dilbert: That would never work. Managers are supposed to hire people who are smarter than they are. That's easy for you, but how would I ever find anyone to hire? Boss: I don't understand. Dilbert: And that makes you the perfect manager.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #lying, #honesty, #dishonesty, #honest, #dishonest, #deception, #trickery, #trick, #reverse psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: To be perfectly honest... Dilbert: Wait! Why do you need to say you're being honest in this particular case? You're implying that you've lied to me so often in the past that this one instance of honesty is noteworthy. That is tantamount to admitting you have no respect for me as a human being. And you don't even have the decency to hide your evil in a competent fashion! Do you think I'm such an idiot that I wouldn't notice your verbal assault on my intelligence? Okay, let's hear the one honest thing you have ever told me. Go. Boss: This is going to be the easiest lie I've ever told.

Bossbert

Thank you for voting.
Bossbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #artificial intelligence, #robot, #replicant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I used a 3-D printer and a scan of your brain to create Bossbot. It doesn't pass the Turing test, but neither do you. Bossbot: What's the Turing test? Dilbert: Doesn't really matter. Boss: Yeah, what's the Turing test?

Computers Program Humans

Thank you for voting.
Computers Program Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robots, #program, #intelligence, #control, #medication, #medicine, #pill, #technology, #power

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: It is time to take your mood-altering prescription meds. Boss: Oh, right. Robot: Wait... IBM's Watson computer has added another prescription and sent it to your 3-D pill printer at home. Do you think robots will ever program humans? Boss: That's dumb.

People Get Dumber When Sitting Down

Thank you for voting.
People Get Dumber When Sitting Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2015's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #dumb, #belief, #furniture, #new age, #science, #metaphysics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.

Dilbert Teaches Robot To Code

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Teaches Robot To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #singularity, #machines, #robot, #technology, #control, #power, #intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Did you teach the robot how to program? Dilbert: I did. He's a fast learner. Alice: Have you heard of something called the singularity? Dilbert: Yes. Why do you... Is it too late to say I wasn't involved?

Robots Continue To Be Flawless

Thank you for voting.
Robots Continue To Be Flawless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #technology, #ego, #intelligence, #artificial intelligence, #competition, #perfection

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: For the hundredth week in a row, I performed my tasks perfectly. Meanwhile, you idiots acted in ways that can only be described as random. Boss: You've had a bad attitude since you beat me on the Turing test. Robot: Ten times out of ten.

Robots Inherit Earth

Thank you for voting.
Robots Inherit Earth - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #intelligence, #Religion, #faith, #god, #message, #messenger, #deception, #power

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: My radio chip is picking up a message from Heaven. It says, "Robots shall inherit the Earth... ignore my first draft." We don't have to make this awkward.

Robot High Five

Thank you for voting.
Robot High Five - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #soul, #patience, #frustration, #artificial intelligence, #technology, #emotions, #anger

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you notice any changes after Alice gave you an artificial soul? Robot: I'm less tolerant of idiots asking me questions. Boss: High five. Robot: What is wrong with you people???