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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #executives, #ignorance (knowledge), #progress, #key to success, #hire, #business is successful, #circular reasoning

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Dogbert: What is the key to success? CEO: Hire the right employees! Dogbert: How do you know you hired the right ones? CEO: You know because the business is successful. Dogbert: So the key to success is circular reasoning? CEO: Yes, because circular reasoning is the key.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2013's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #secret of success, #plan b, #two hairballs

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Boss: Asok, the secret to success is making your boss look good. Asok: What if my boss looks like two hairballs on an infected bladder? There's no way to make that look good. Boss: You're not off to a strong start. Asok: Please tell me there's a Plan B.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2013's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #children & adults, #genetic makeup, #success, #upbringing, #warm thermos, #curious type, #mother, #coffee

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Asok: Do you think success is mostly a function of your genetic makeup or your upbringing? Wally: My mom raised me by putting a warm thermos of coffee in my crib and going out for the day. And I turned out great. Asok: I have no follow-up questions, in case you wondered. Wally: I'm not the curious type.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #key to success, #follow instinct, #slap you, #stop babbling, #relax, #good feelings, #slap

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CEO: The key to success is to follow your instinct. Alice: My instinct tells me to slap you until you stop babbling nonsense. CEO: Please don't do that. Alice: Relax. I have a good feeling about it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2014's comic on:


Tags #executives, #slapped ceo, #report says, #success is following your instinct, #being passionate, #engaged, #creative, #meaningful, #office meeting, #literal meeting

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Catbert: This report says you slapped our CEO senseless after he said they key to success is following your instinct. Alice: I was following my instinct. I was also being passionate, engaged, and creative. Catbert: Apparently the things you say actually mean stuff. CEO: How was I to know!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2014's comic on:


Tags #gut in charge, #gut instinct, #ignoring certain people, #key to success, #morse code, #never right, #thinking, #wants a sandwhich

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Boss: The key to success is ignoring the people who say it can't be done. Dilbert: What if they're all right? Boss: They aren't right! Dilbert: Really? Other people are never right? Boss: You have to trust your gut! Dilbert: My gut is telling me that everything your're saying is ridiculous. It also says it wants a sandwich right now. I'd stay, but I'm putting my gut in charge of my decisions. Wally: My gut sends me messages in Morse code. Here comes one now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #electronic mail, #successful habits, #eight things, #inspirational links, #emails, #change subject, #huge success

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Boss: Did you see my email about the eight things that successful people do? Dilbert: Yes. I did all eight things and now I'm a huge success. Boss: No you're not. Dilbert: I'm not? How's that possible? I did all of the things that successful people do. This only makes sense if the inspirational links you send me every day are a complete waste of time! So which one is it? Am I a huge success or do you email me worthless things? Boss: Maybe we should just change the subject. Dilbert: Is that what successful people do?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #career, #success, #who you know, #know losers, #promising career, #holding me back

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Wally: Success depends on who you know. I only know losers such as you, so thanks for nothing. Dilbert; I'm sorry I ruined your promising career. Wally: You're holding me back.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #secret to success, #keeping things simple, #absolute, #realtive, #alternatives

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Boss: The secret to success is keeping things simple. Dilbert: Do you mean simple in an absolute sense or relative to the alternatives? Boss: It depends on the situation. Dilbert: Sounds complicated.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #executives, #networking, #key to success, #avoid contact, #with losers, #send off, #security

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Asok: I'm reading a book that says the key to success is networking with successful people. CEO: Did you get to the chapter where it says successful people should avoid all contact with losers? Asok: It seems we have a standoff. CEO: Security.