Search Results for "CEO"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Fifty Slide Presentation

Thank you for voting.
Fifty Slide Presentation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managers, #tasks, #presentation, #expectation, #unrealistic, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO wants me to make a fifty-slide presentation for him that will motivate employees. Dilbert: Ha ha! Now you know how we feel when you ask us to do ridiculous things. Boss: Anyway, I don't have time, so I need you to do it for me.

Blame Rolls Downhill

Thank you for voting.
Blame Rolls Downhill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #blame, #responsibility, #management

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO blamed the Sales department for our low revenue. Sales blamed Marketing and Marketing blamed Engineering. Guess why I'm here. Dilbert: To shield me from unfair accusations?

Who's Turn To Lie

Thank you for voting.
Who's Turn To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #excuse, #excuses, #deadline, #lying

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO stopped by to see how long before we finish the new software. Dilbert: Whose turn is it to lie to him? Boss: I blamed Elbonian hackers last week. Dilbert: You're using all the good ones!

Estimating Software Completion

Thank you for voting.
Estimating Software Completion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #estimate, #deadline, #questioning, #delay, #prediction

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When will the next version of the software be done? Dilbert: That's like asking me to estimate how long it takes a salamander to evolve into a horse. Boss: So... what should I tell our CEO? Dilbert: Try the salamander analogy. It worked on you.

Management Fast Track

Thank you for voting.
Management Fast Track - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #talent, #management, #potential, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, our CEO asked me to put you on the management fast track. Dilbert: Why does he hate me so much? Boss: He didn't say, but I have a lot of guesses if you want to hear them.

Wally's Sleep Vr

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Sleep Vr - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #vr, #virtual reality, #sleeping, #nap, #deception, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I wrote a VR program that creates the illusion you are asleep. Watch me demonstrate. ZZZZZ. CEO: How long should I watch?

One Small Mistake Is Doom

Thank you for voting.
One Small Mistake Is Doom  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #nervous, #Advice, #fear, #anxiety, #public speaking, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have any advice for my presentation to the CEO? Dilbert: Sure. If you make one small mistake, your career will be finished. Asok: You just made me nervous and thus doubled my risk of failure. Dilbert: I'm not the one who brought it up.

Imagine He Is Naked

Thank you for voting.
Imagine He Is Naked  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #Advice, #nervous, #naked, #fear

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have any tips for my presentation to the CEO? Boss: When you are presenting, imagine you are naked and everyone is laughing at you. Asok: Why? Boss: It's just something I read. I might have the details wrong.

Alice Helps Asok With Slides

Thank you for voting.
Alice Helps Asok With Slides  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #powerpoint, #slide, #Advice, #speech

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Can you help me edit my slides for my CEO presentation? I have 75 slides and ten minutes to present. Alice: Get rid of 74 of them. Asok: I'll ask someone else.

Can We Borrow An Apron

Thank you for voting.
Can We Borrow An Apron  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #pr, #public relations, #appearances, #homeless, #soup kitchen, #shelter

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: We're here to get a photo of my client serving food to the homeless. Man: We don't need any help. Dogbert: In that case, can we borrow an apron and a spoon? Man: Um... I guess so. Dogbert: And can you wipe some gruel on the apron?