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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #employees, #funerals, #evil dierctor, #heating costs, #too high, #company furnace, #cremated

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Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "Employees waste too much time at funerals." Catbert continues, "On a related note, our heating costs are too high." Later at home, Dilert's mother says to Dilbert, "As a matter of fact, I would mind being cremated in the company furnace."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2000's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #union work, #employees moving company computer, #old evil, #pdas, #laptops, #cut of giblets, #union steward stuart

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Catbert is behind a desk talking to the union steward. Catbert says, "What new evil do you bring me, Union Steward Stuart?" The union steward says, "Employees should not be allowed to move company computers. That's union work." Catbert says, "That's old evil." Stuart says, "It's new if we include PDAs and laptops." Catbert says, "I like the cut of your giblets."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2000's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #personal use, #stealing from company, #human resources, #form a gang

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Catbert is standing on Wally's desk. Catbert says, "Your personal use of the internet is like stealing from the company!" Wally says, "You work in Human Resources; that's like stealing from the company, too." Wally continues, "Maybe we should form a gang."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #new job, #starts with l, #window shuts, #company

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Dilbert is staring at his computer screen. Ted has the letter 'O' painted on his chest. Ted says to Dilbert, "I need a new job within the company before the window shuts." Ted says, "Catbert is already up to 'O.' Next week he gets an 'S'." Dilbert asks, "What's he spelling?" Ted says to Dilbert, "He wouldn't say, but it starts with an 'L'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2000's comic on:


Tags #cleint, #lawyer, #juror, #sleeping juror, #snoring, #fell asleep

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Lawyer: My clients life now rests in your capable hands. ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZ ZZZZ JURY DELIBERATIONS JUROR: Did anything happen after "Please rise"?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2001's comic on:


Tags #stock analyst, #good things, #company, #weasels

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Dogbert: your stock will rise if a stock analyst says good things about your company. The Boss: how is that even possible? Dogbert: one word: weasels. weasels: I just found my new pick and shovel core holding.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2001's comic on:


Tags #outsourced sales, #elbonian company, #complex technology, #bad string, #call back, #mud pile

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We outsourced our sales and fulfillment functions to an Elbonian company." Wally looks at Dilbert as Dilbert asks, "Um... Are you sure that's the best way to sell complex technology?" Three Elbonians and a pig each are holding a tin can with string to their ears. One Elbonian says, "Could you call back? We have a bad string."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #greedy boss, #huge growth earnings, #mean boss, #miss growth, #poised, #stock options vest, #unrelated move, #leave company

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Our CEO says we are poised for huge growth in earnings." The Boss continues, "In an unrelated move, he announced that he will leave the company before any of his stock options vest." Wally and Dilbert look horrified and their ties fly up in front of their faces as The Boss says, "The poor guy will miss all of our growth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #good news, #bad news, #power utility, #company, #new vp opeartaions, #offcie, #wheel attached, #generator

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Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I have good news and bad news." Dogbert says to a happy Ratbert, "The good news is I'm starting up a power utility company and you're my new VP of Operations!" Dogbert says to a chagrined Ratbert, "The bad news is that your office is inside a wheel attached to a generator."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2001's comic on:


Tags #power utility company, #director marketing, #increase revenue, #herbivore

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Dogbert says to a dragon, "Bob, I'm starting a power utility company." Dogbert says to the dragon, "You'll be my Director of Marketing. Your job is to increase revenue." A frightened-looking boy is lying in bed with the covers pulled up to his nose. A lighted lamp is at his bedside. The dragon's tail is sticking out from under the bed and the dragon says, "Normally I'm an herbivore, Billy, but when the lights go off..."