Search Results for "blame"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #siri, #server outage, #deploying air bag, #tailbone, #vestigal, #bluetooth

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Siri, how can I avoid blame for our server outage? Siri: Deploying coccyx air bag. Wally: So your tailbone isn't vestigial? Dilbert: Nope. And apparently it has bluetooth.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Don't blame me, but there's no budget to give you a raise this year." "Why not?" "My business trip to Las Vegas cost four million dollars because I passed out in the bathtub with the water running and flooded five floors." "The bartenders there are totally irresponsible."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Do you have the list of invitees for the debriefing meeting? "Here." "I like to blame people who won't be in the room." "Bad news for you: You're not on the list."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, after I left the meeting yesterday, did you blame me for the failure of the project?" "I'm getting a bad vibe from people today. That sort of rumor could stain my reputation and ruin my entire future." "How dare you accuse me..." "Well, well. Look who's impeding Wally again."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Satan's Vendor "You'll have many benefits after our technology is irrevocably implemented in your network." "For example, when one of our products stops working, we'll blame another vendor within 24 hours." "Do you have free t-shirts?" "Yes. They're made of the finest allergens."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I need to blame someone for the failure of Project Alpha. "Use the plunger of blame. It's the latest technology for randomly distributing blame." "Please tell me that someone is patting me on the back right now." BLAME

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Why did you attach the plunger of blame to me? "The short answer is 'Because I can.'" "What's the long answer?" "Because I-I-I-I ca-a-a-n."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

My boss marked me with the plunger of blame. How can I get rid of it? "Eventually your body will absorb the plunger of blame and turn it into the wrinkles of experience." "And then you die." "It's starting to itch!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2013's comic on:


Tags #accusations, #anxiety, #continuous barrage, #firewall, #inevitable villager, #pessimism, #villagers with torches

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert, I want you to install the new firewall. Dilbert: Noooo!!!! Why me? Why me? The firewall guy gets blamed for every problem. People will say "Everything worked until you changed the firewall." There will be no rest for me. I will have to defend myself against a continuous barrage of accusations. It's always the firewall! Everyone blames the stinkin' firewall! I surrender to the inevitable! Villagers, grab your pitchforks and torches! Boss: How did he get that way? Wally: I blame the firewall.