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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1995's comic on:


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Dilbert enters carrying a briefcase and meets Wally who is pushing a shopping cart. Wally says, "Now that we don't have our own cubicles I have to keep my binders in this shopping cart." Wally draws on a cubicle wall with a can of spray paint and says, "And I've developed a strong interest in graffiti as a way to express my individuality." Dilbert says, "Well . . . It could be worse." Wally continues, "I'm thinking of joining a gang."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss who is seated at his desk. Dilbert asks, "As team leader, I think I should get some perks so people know my status." The Boss replies, "I'll have your cubicle walls sprayed with a special thickening agent. It might look the same, but trust me, people will know how thick you are." Dilbert peers over his cubicle wall into Wally's cubicle and says, "I'm just like you, Wally, but thicker." Wally says, "I've noticed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert types, "Your ignorance seems to have no limit. Your opinions are idiotic." Dilbert continues typing, "Your personal hygiene leaves much to be desired. Your family is ugly." He enters, "Send e-mail." Peering over the cubicle wall, Wally says to Dilbert, "You're mighty brave in cyberspace, Flame-boy." Dilbert replies, "Step inside."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert peers over the cubicle wall and says, "Wally, you just sent me the same e-mail you sent last week." Wally says, "I'm rerunning the 'Best of Wally' while I'm on in-cube sabbatical." Dilbert asks, "How long is your sabbatical?" Wally replies, "Six months so far, and you're the first to notice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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The Boss enters Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Can you explain why you're a week behind schedule?" Dilbert turns to face the Boss and says, "Your poor leadership has drained me of the enthusiasm that is necessary to succeed. But it's not completely YOUR fault." Dilbert continues, "Frankly, your parents have to accept some responsibility for creating you." The Boss asks, "Even if they were drunk?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dilbert sits at his desk and turns around as the Boss enters. The Boss says, "We need to finish your program twice as fast, so I'm adding a person to help you." The Boss says as he leaves Dilbert's cubicle, "You might need to train him a little before he's productive." Dilbert waves his arms as he thinks, "Warning! Warning! Dr. Smith." Dilbert sits at his desk with the new co-worker, a small man with big ears and a disheveled shirt collar. Pointing at the monitor, he asks Dilbert, "Tell me again what the big glowing thing is."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Are you working twice as fast since I doubled your staff?" Dilbert sits at his desk with Barry. He answers, "I've coded twelve modules . . . Barry is on a journey of discovery where he will find out my mouse is not a microphone." Speaking into the mouse, Barry says, "Hello! Anybody!" Back in his office, the Boss sits in front of the computer contemplating his mouse. He says, "That would explain why nobody ever comments on my announcements over the P.A. system."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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The Boss and a woman walk by Dilbert's cubicle holding folders. Leaning back in his chair to look out of the cubicle, Dilbert thinks, "Uh-Oh . . . the managers are going to another closed-door meeting." Dilbert thinks, "It must be about pay cuts or layoffs. I'm doomed. I'd better work on my resume NOW." He pulls nervously at his tie, his hair stands on end and beads of sweat fly from his forehead. The Boss sits around a conference table with three other managers. Reading from a document, he says, "Okay, so far our 'leadership vision' says 'we inspire employees to action.' Does anybody have upgrades?" Another man responds, "Nah."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert stands on a podium addressing a crowd of office workers, including Dilbert, Wally and Alice. Dogbert says, "As new owner of this company I hereby ban all meetings over one hour. The dress code is casual. Status reports are optional!" Dogbert continues, "No more mission statements or 'visions.' Our motto is 'have fun, satisfy customers, make money.'" Dilbert sleeps in his chair. In Dilbert's dream, Dogbert concludes his speech to the employees, "And stock options for all." Outside Dilbert's cubicle, Dogbert says to the Boss, "We can fit five more in this cubicle if we remove the chair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Catbert stands on a cubicle wall waving a document. Catbert says to Alice, "Here's the new org chart. Maybe you're on it and maybe not." Alice jumps up and tries to reach the sheet as Catbert holds it out of reach. Catbert taunts, "Ooh! Nice try! So close. Too bad." Catbert ties the chart to a string and dangles it into the cubicles. Wally and Alice lunge for it. Catbert says, "It's fun to play with them before downsizing them."