Search Results for "motivation"

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Permission To Work Smarter

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Permission To Work Smarter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #sayings, #motivation, #Advice, #laziness, #work ethic

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Wally: Do I have your permission to work smarter and not harder? Boss: Um... sure. That sounds like a good thing to do. But how would I know you were working? Wally: I don't even know if I'm working right now.

Only Work If You'd Rather Do Something Else

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Only Work If You'd Rather Do Something Else - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #fulfillment, #happiness, #satisfaction, #work ethic, #motivation

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Boss: Remember, it's only work if you'd rather be doing something else! Tina: I would rather do anything else. Boss: Oh. In that case, you're trapped in a nightmare that never ends. Tina: I have a lot riding on the afterlife.

Followship Training

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Followship Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #following, #lazy, #work ethic, #motivation

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Boss: I'm too busy to take a leaders hip class, so I'm sending all of you to a followship class. Dilbert: Is that so we can learn how to follow someone who never learned to lead? Boss: That sounds like a good question for your followship teacher.

Acting Interested In Dilbert

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Acting Interested In Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managers, #relationships, #human, #humanity, #productivity, #motivation

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Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!

Taking Pride In Work

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Taking Pride In Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #pep talk, #logic, #pride, #suffering, #work ethic

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Boss: Wally, I"m starting to think you don't take pride in your work. Wally: That would be like taking pride in being the victim of a crime. Catbert: How'd the pep talk go? Boss: He made some good points.

Culture As An Asset

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Culture As An Asset - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #company, #culture, #motivation, #strategy, #buzzword, #jargon

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Boss: I've been telling employees that our culture is our best asset. Catbert: Do they pretend that makes sense? Boss: Yes, because we have a culture of lying to avoid conflict.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses, #motivation, #projects

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Boss: I need you to add a feature to the software. Wally: That would be outside the scope of the project. Boss: Yes, but I'm your boss and I'm telling you to do it. Wally: You also told me to only do the things that are documented on the project specs. Boss: Okay, just change the documentation and then do it. Wally: If I do that, the project will be late and over budget. Boss: How many excuses do you have for not doing work? Wally: I'm just getting started. This feature will never work with the others.

Nothing Dilbert Does Matters

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Nothing Dilbert Does Matters - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #accomplishment, #meaning, #meaningless

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Dilbert: I completed my assignment, and yet I feel no sense of accomplishment. Could it be because nothing I do makes any difference in the world? Boss: I was going to tell you that, but I didn't want to demotivate you.

Dilbert Does Nothing Useful

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Dilbert Does Nothing Useful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #meaning, #meaningless, #motivation, #laziness

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Dilbert: All I did today was create a bunch of PowerPoint slides that no one will understand. But I got paid the same as if I had done something useful. Is this the first stage of becoming you? Wally: If you're lucky.

Engineer With No Soul

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Engineer With No Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #soul, #motivation, #cruelty, #abuse

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Boss: I hired an engineer who has no soul. This way, I won't feel so bad when I motivate him with emotional abuse. Dilbert: You're joking, right? Boss: Ha! You're right. I never feel bad about stuff.