Search Results for "afraid of change"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2006's comic on:


Tags #illegal plan, #change minds, #panning for gold, #soirit

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The legal department says your plan is illegal. "Ask them again." "Maybe they'll change their minds." "I'll get on that as soon as I'm done panning for gold in the water fountain." "That's the spirit!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2007's comic on:


Tags #career counselor, #no marketable talent, #keep positive, #not going to change, #unemployable

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Dogbert, career counselor DOgbert: "You have no marketable talent." "You're totally unemployable and that's not going to change." "The important thing is to keep a positive attitude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #wages, #hiring engineers, #google, #million per year, #change the world, #average engineer pay, #money

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Interviewee: Google offered me a million dollars a year. What's your offer? Boss: Work for us and you can change the world! Interviewee: Change it how? Boss: By lowering the average pay of engineers. Hiring engineers

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2012's comic on:


Tags #director of change, #employees, #management, #managers & supervisors, #strategies, #business

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Boss: We're hiring a director of change management to help employees embrace strategic changes. Dilbert: Or we could come up with strategies that make sense. Then employees would embrace change. Boss: That sounds harder.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2013's comic on:


Tags #fear, #change is good, #don't fear change, #sickness and death, #alarming symptoms

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Boss: Do not fear change because change is good. Dilbert: Actually, studies show that any big changes in a person's life vastly increase the odds of sickness and death. Wally: Are you trying to kill us? Dilbert: I can't feel my arm!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #cafe, #change subject, #date, #dinner date, #freinds, #hobbies, #internet, #obscure articles, #technology

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woman: do you have any hobbies?" Dilbert: I like to read obscure articles on the internet and image having friends who are interested in the same things. Woman: But you do have friends, right? Dilbert: Is it too late to change the subject?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2008's comic on:


Tags #trouble ticket, #have problem, #catch all, #shift change, #eascalation, #accidental disconnect

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A man says, "How can you say my trouble ticket is resolved when I still have the problem??!" Dogbert says, "Resolved is a catch-all term that can mean a shift change, escalation, or even an accidental disconnect." The man says, "So... you escalated it?" CLICK

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #change is good, #most start ups fail, #questions at end

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The Boss says, "Change is good." Dilbert says, "Then why do most startups fail?" The Boss says, "I only take questions at the end." Someone says, "There's more?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #irony, #meeting, #ceo visits, #change focus, #make good prodcuts, #pretending solvency, #hologram, #business

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The CEO visits CEO: We're going to change our focus... from pretending to make good products, to pretending to be solvent. On a related note, I've always been a hologram.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2010's comic on:


Tags #victor, #project, #goat head, #upset, #angry, #awful, #slap, #help, #ask, #wind up, #stand on one leg, #cringe, #hard hit, #dolphin head, #change species, #seeing stars, #messy hair

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Asok says, "Alice, a horrible accident has given me a goat head. I need you to slap me so hard that I change species from the neck up." Alice says, "Hold still, Asok. This might take a few tries." Two Hours Later Alice says, "Dolphin is close! One more should do it."