Search Results for "beta code"
Share February 24, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: Are you coming to the code mocking? Asok: The what? Dilbert: Code mocking is an engineering tradition. It happens whenever a software project is handed to a new engineer. The new engineer is required to mock the previous engineer's work in a public way. We spectators get to vote on whether the old code is killed or spared. Coworker: Ha ha! His code is hilariously inefficient! Ouch. Chest pain. Dilbert: Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Coworker: Gaaa!! The code is offending my engineering sensibilities! It's killing me! Dilbert: I forgot to mention that sometimes the code wins.
Share February 15, 2013's comic on:
Boss: Starting next week, our meetings will be "stand-ups" with no chairs, so we'll be more focused. Dilbert: So you examined all of the problems in the company and decided the root cause was chairs? Boss: We're also loosening the dress code. Dilbert: So our problems are chairs and pants?
Share March 10, 2013's comic on:
Boss: Wally, you have accomplished none of your goals. I have to let you go. Wally: Actually, I accomplished a lot. I spent the past ten years creating a tangle of undocumented programming code. Every one of our major systems is linked to it. If I don't enter a password every day, the entire company will go into a technology death spiral. If you value your job, you'll give me a huge raise and dance on this table like a monkey!!! Boss: Let's call it a tie. Wally: Yeah, I'm good with that.
Share April 06, 2013's comic on:
Share April 08, 2013's comic on:
Monster: The best part of being a sadistic monster is that my job is to write the income tax code. Look how complicated I made it. Hee hee! Dogbert: You do good work, Stanky. Monster: But is it regressive enough? Dogbert: It's like we share a brain because you keep saying what I'm thinking.
Share April 09, 2013's comic on:
Monster: Ha ha! We've made the tax code so complex that even God would be confused. God: Seriously, dudes? Dogbert: Please tell me you have an upstairs neighbor. Monster: i believe I do, but I haven't actually seen him.
Share March 04, 2008's comic on:
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally: I'd like to change my job title to something with 'architect' in it. My dream is to do less work while allegedly being more valuable. Catbert: The best I can do is 'code monkey. Wally: How about 'software simian'?"
Share May 31, 2008's comic on:
The Boss: Wally, are you busy? Wally: Yes, I'm reading the 'In Memoriam' section of our company newsletter." The Boss: When you're done, can you compile the beta test results?" Wally: Sure. Just as soon as I get the data from... Larry."
Share July 07, 2008's comic on:
man: "Alice, did you make those code changes yet?" Alice says, "No. I find your specifications to be vague and uncompelling. They are a breeding ground for ennui." man : "Is there any way I can cheer you up?" Alice says, "Maybe if something awful happened to you."
Share November 17, 2008's comic on:
Catbert: I modified the dress code to require wearing company shirts on casual Fridays. That should lower our employees' self-esteem until they stop complaining about earning less than the industry average. Dilbert: Why do I feel overpaid today?