Search Results for "employee empowerment"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1999's comic on:


Tags #kill coworker, #employee manual, #award for cost saving, #evil hr director

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Caption "Catbert: evil h.r. director" Alice sits in Catbert's office. Catbert says, "Alice, did you kill another co-worker?" Alice says, "Yes." Catbert looks in the Employee Manual and says, "But you did not discriminate, sexually harass, steal or take drugs. hmmmm.." Catbert says, "It looks like I have to give you an award for your cost saving idea." Alice says, "Thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #the turnaround ceo, #mole, #fire, #affect revenue, #outsource everything, #one smart employee, #risk, #rude

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The Turnaround CEO The devilish looking CEO asks Dilbert, "Tell me, mole, who can I fire without affecting revenue?" Dilbert replies, "In theory, you could outsource everything and run the company with one smart employee." Dilbert continues, "And at the risk of sounding rude, only one of us knew that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2000's comic on:


Tags #pot luck, #drop dish, #groceries, #employee appreciation luncheon

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The boss writes an e-mail to Dilbert: "The Employee Appreciation Luncheon will be potluck." Dilbert reads the rest of the e-mail: "Drop off your dish at my house on your way to work." The Boss thinks: "If this works, I'll never need to buy groceries again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2000's comic on:


Tags #boss, #edfred, #freak, #new hire, #new plan, #trust, #two faced employee, #two headed

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EDFRED: Hi, Im Edfred the two faced employee. If you tell your boss his new plan is stupid I'll back you up. Dilbert: Really? I don't like the looks of this.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2000's comic on:


Tags #employee of month, #lulu, #overcame odds, #to win, #name randomly picked, #victory, #last month

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The Boss: The employee of the month is LULU. LULU overcame long odds to win this award. I.E. her name was randomly picked. Wally: Id protest but I don't want to taint my victory of last month.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2001's comic on:


Tags #sales people, #phone calls, #taking brides, #supplement, #income, #natural extention, #empowerment, #micromangement brewing

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Carol enters the Boss' office. He is holding up the phone and asks, "Carol, why do you keep putting sales people through to me?" Carol replies, "I'm taking bribes to supplement my income. It's a natural extension of empowerment." The Boss shakes angrily, and Carol says, "I sense some micromanagement brewing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #meeting to discuss, #employee retention, #employees quit, #useless meetings, #reasons, #first meetings

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The Boss comes into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We're having a meeting to discuss employee retention." Dilbert replies, "Tell them that employees quit because there are too many useless meetings." The Boss says, "We won't be getting into reasons at the first meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2001's comic on:


Tags #assistant manager, #clone me, #boss, #came to you, #brilliant employee

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I need a brilliant employee to be my assistant manager." The Boss continues, "That's why I came to you." Dilbert turns and says, "That's the first nice thing..." The Boss interrupts him, "Your job is to clone me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2001's comic on:


Tags #psychological profile, #start monday, #employee handbook, #weekend, #gentle biker, #psycho hillbilly

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Catbert is sitting on his desk. He says, "Your psychological profile test results are excellent. Can you start Monday?" A hairy, half dressed man carrying a knife replies, "Monday is fine. I'll read the employee handbook over the weekend." The hairy man says to Dilbert and Alice, "The 'gentle biker' look is overdone. I'm going for 'psycho hillbilly.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2002's comic on:


Tags #empty cubicles, #frightens customres, #adopt cubicle, #decorate, #appear occupied, #phil de cube, #imaginary employee

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "We have too many empty cubicles. It frightens our customers." The Boss continues, "Each of you will adopt an empty cubicle and decorate it to appear occupied." Wally and Dilbert are walking out. Wally says, "My imaginary employee will be a Frenchman named Phil de Cube." Dilbert responds, "Nice."