Search Results for "food"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Carol, I decided to take the entire staff out to a five-star restaurant for lunch." "The food is so good that it's almost intoxicating. When paired with the right wine, the experience is a once-in-a-life-time sensation." "While we're gone, you'll need to answer everyone's phone."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I'm rating you "good" but not because you are." "Company policy says I have to fire anyone rated lower than food, and the hiring freeze means it would shrink my empire." "So you can get paid for doing nothing as long as you don't kill anyone." "I can't promise that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2005's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I'll be right back. I'm going to grab a Ted sandwich before the meeting." "A what?" "The food people always leave one sandwich in the break room fridge labeled Ted. It tastes like ham." "You're looking good, Ted. Have you lost weight?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Welcome to Dogbert's Retirement Planning Seminar. "Don't tell anyone that you retired. Just keep coming to work and collecting money for the weekly lottery pool. Then spend it on food." "I want my dollar back."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Lobbyist "For a million dollars I can have the government include your industrial waste in the recommended food pyramid." "For another million I'll have Congress authorize huge tax breaks for soulless, Blackberry-using weasels with coffee breath." "I just want to hug you!" "That's another million."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Dilbert, meet Albert. He's old, but I like to call him experienced." "I'm trying to win an award for being one of the best places to work if you have one foot in the grave." "I'm only 54. I ran a marathon yesterday." "I asked the cafeteria to stock up on food that's easy to gum."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Your snacks are too loud. crunch crunch crunch "Only inconsiderate jerks eat crunchy food in cubicles." crunch crunch crunch "Maybe you should try to make me love you more than I love salt."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2008's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I recommend we cancel our planned merger." Dilbert says, "They plan to open a chain of fast food restaurants using our employees as a source of protein." The Boss says, "If we always waited for the perfect situation, we'd never get anything done."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2008's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Health problems and absenteeism are a huge cost to this business." The Boss says, "So?" Wally says, "So give me a raise, or I'll eat unhealthy food and avoid all forms of exercise." The Boss says, "You already do those things." Wally says, "How could you possibly know that?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2008's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Cow supervisor A cow says, "Try not to think of me as a cow who happens to be your supervisor." The cow says, "Think of me as your bovine overlord, the usurper of your position in the food chain." Dilbert says, "I'd be lying if I said that didn't make it feel kind of cool." The cow says, "Say you'd die for me!"