Search Results for "idea"
Share January 06, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "Boss, I have an idea." The Boss gasps. The Boss jumps up and says, "Quick! Close the blinds! I'll get the door!" The Boss shouts, "You fool! If anybody heard you, we're both dead!" The Boss continues, "Don't you realize that ideas are just targets for other power-hungry managers?!!" The Boss continues, "I've based my entire career on shooting down other people's ideas." A brick crashes through the window. Dilbert picks it up and says, "The note says, 'We know you have an idea in there. Give it up.'" Dilbert arrives at home wearing disheveled clothes and bent glasses. Dogbert asks, "How was work?" Dilbert replies, "Same ol' same ol'."
Share February 17, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert sits on the couch with his knees bent. He hands a document to Dogbert and says, "Look at the agreement my company is forcing us to sign. They claim the rights to any idea an employee ever has." Dilbert looks at the document and says, "No problem. Just retype it with a few strategic omissions and sign it. They can't proofread every one." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't that be dishonest?" Dogbert replies, "Maybe you could just show them some of your ideas and they'd grant a waiver."
Share March 11, 1996's comic on:
Wally and Dilbert stand with the Boss. Dilbert says, "Wally and I came up with a great new product idea!" A voice says over an intercom, "Inspiration alert in effect!!" Another voice says, "Danger! New idea!" An arm extends down and drops a metal casing onto the Boss's head. The intercom says, "State your idea now." There is a large mallet poised over Dilbert's head that has written on it, "Crush-O-Matic." Dilbert says to Wally, "Um, you tell him."
Share March 12, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert says to Wally, "If this company won't use our product idea let's quit and start our own business!" Wally responds, "Why quit? We can run our new company from our cubicles and get paid too." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't that be immoral?" Wally says, "That's only an issue for people who aren't already in hell."
Share March 30, 1996's comic on:
The caption says, "Performance Review." Tina the Tech Writer sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Your main accomplishment was the department newsletter which was both uninteresting and unimportant. You get no raise." Tina looks shocked and says, "The newsletter was YOUR idea, and it's boring because most of the articles are contributed by my idiotic co-workers." The Boss says, "You don't seem to understand the value of teamwork." Tina replies, "I understand its value; it just cost me a two-percent raise."
Share August 20, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert listens as Asok says to the Boss, "My idea is that everyone should be required to use small fonts. That way we'll save disk space." Asok continues, "And I've noticed that many people use entire colons in situations where a semicolon would do just fine." As they walk away, Asok says to Dilbert, "You're right, that was fun." Dilbert replies, "The real fun is when he describes his new ideas at the next staff meeting."
Share September 21, 1996's comic on:
The Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "I've got an idea. Let's add a battery backup to our product." Dilbert thinks, "One . . . Two . . . Three . . ." The Boss says, "I've got an idea. Why don't we add a battery backup to our product?" Dilbert replies, "Because our product doesn't use electricity."
Share October 17, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert, Alice, Wally and the Boss sit at a conference table. Alice says, "Our consultant suggested putting attractive women in our booth at the trade show." Alice continues, "I rejected that idea. It is sexist and demeaning. I have a better idea to increase traffic to our booth." Dilbert asks, "What's the dental floss for?" Alice replies, "It's your thong bikini. You'll stand in front of our competitor's booth."
Share December 10, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a desk wearing a sorcerer's hat. He tells the Boss, "Let me do the talking when we meet with your boss." Dogbert says to a woman behind a desk, "As you know, any idea from the pointy-haired wonder is crud, but when you add my ability, what do you have?" The woman asks, "Crudability?" Dogbert says, "And good looks too!"
Share January 31, 1997's comic on:
Alice, Asok the Intern and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Asok says, "I installed calendar software on our network." Asok continues, "Now you can see everyone's schedule and easily set up meetings." Dilbert tells Alice, "I say we grab him and apply some cubicle justice." Alice points to the monitor and replies, "Good idea, but I'm in meetings until the year 3006."