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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #know first aid, #marketing, #picked intern, #engineering dead pool, #team building pot luck, #lunch, #business

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Asok the Intern is lying on the floor with his legs sticking straight up in the air. Dilbert says to Wally, Alice and The Boss, "I'll see if the guys in marketing know First Aid." Ted says to Dilbert, "Really? I picked that intern in our engineering dead pool!" Dilbert says to Wally and Alice as Asok continues lying on the floor, "Apparently our team-building potluck lunch didn't take."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2000's comic on:


Tags #exceeding expectations, #padding objectives, #whistle blower, #award

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Wally says, "As you know, I'm the only employee who is not exceeding expectations." Wally says, "You should punish the others for unscrupulously padding their objectives! Those lying weasels!!" Wally asks The Boss, "Can I get a Whistle-Blower Award for this?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2001's comic on:


Tags #power utility company, #director marketing, #increase revenue, #herbivore

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Dogbert says to a dragon, "Bob, I'm starting a power utility company." Dogbert says to the dragon, "You'll be my Director of Marketing. Your job is to increase revenue." A frightened-looking boy is lying in bed with the covers pulled up to his nose. A lighted lamp is at his bedside. The dragon's tail is sticking out from under the bed and the dragon says, "Normally I'm an herbivore, Billy, but when the lights go off..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2001's comic on:


Tags #cloning th eboss, #might hurt, #push button, #employeees, #operating room, #doctors offcie, #lab

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Headline: Cloning the Boss. Dilbert has on a doctor's uniform. The Boss is lying on an operation bed with a laser pointed at his head. The Boss asks, "Will this hurt?" Dilbert responds, "I hope so." Alice, Wally, and Asok enter the room. Alice says, "We heard it might hurt." Wally asks, "May I push the button?" The Boss looks nervous.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #cloning the boss, #problem with clone, #dna module, #one half horse

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Headline: Cloning The Boss. Dilbert is dressed as a doctor, The Boss is lying on an operation bed. Dilbert says, "There's a problem with your clone." Dilbert continues, "Wally spilled soda on the DNA module. Your clone is one- half horse posterior." Dilbert continues, "And one-half that isn't like you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2003's comic on:


Tags #lost cash, #consultectomy, #wallet, #transfusion, #sedate unwilling donor, #happy hour

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The Boss is lying in bed. Dogbert says, "The consultectomy was successful, but you lost a lot of cash." Dogbert continues, "We're giving your wallet a transfusion, but we had to sedate an unwilling donor." A businessman sits on a bed with a martini in one hand. There is tube stretching from his pocket to The Boss' wallet, Ratbert is manning the machine. The businessman says, "Whoever thought of happy hour at a hospital is a geniush."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2003's comic on:


Tags #bailing on project, #ensure survival, #loser pill, #rejected by wally, #pill, #therapy, #therapist, #psychology

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Wally says to Dilbert, "I'm bailing out of your project; it has the scent of failure." As Wally walks away, he adds, "I will attach myself to a more successful host to ensure my survival." Dilbert is lying on a therapist's couch. He says, "Do you have a pill for someone who gets rejected by Wally?" The therapist replies, "A loser pill?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2003's comic on:


Tags #prescription drugs, #happy, #genuine happiness, #cures worrying, #grow exoskeleton, #doctor, #no cares, #happy drug, #medical

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Dilbert is lying on the couch in his bathrobe. He says to Dogbert, "The prescription drugs make me happy, but I worry that it's not genuine happiness." Dogbert responds, "Ask your doctor for a drug that cures worrying. Then you'll have it all." The doctor hands Dilbert some pills and says, "It might make you grow an exoskeleton, but you won't care." Dilbert responds, "Cool."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #makes me happy, #exoskleton, #bad job, #social life, #chemicals, #illusion, #engineer, #soul, #therapy, #psychology, #engineering

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Dilbert is lying on a therapist's couch in an exoskeleton. He says, "My medication makes me happy despite my exoskeleton, bad job, and social life." Dilbert continues, "If chemicals can change the way I think and what I enjoy, then free will must be an illusion." The therapist asks, "What about your soul?" Dilbert responds, "I'm an engineer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2003's comic on:


Tags #disgruntled employees, #open door policy, #rush hour, #safely dropped, #traffic, #trap door, #eliminate whiners

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Catbert points to a drawing and says to The Boss, "The trap door will work with your 'open door policy' to eliminate whiners." Catbert continues, "Disgruntled employees will be safely dropped into rush hour traffic." The Boss is lying face down in a snowy street. Cars are passing him by. The Boss thinks, "I need to remember that's there."