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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2009's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #boss, #confused, #demanding, #corrupt, #ridiculous

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Gas up the company jet, flunky. I'm going skiing in Aspen." Man says, "Using the corporate jet for a vacation sends the wrong message." Man says, "And you can't ski in the summer." Dogbert says, "What message do forty planeloads of snow send?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2008's comic on:


Tags #apology, #meeting

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The boss: Let's figure out a timeline for development. Dilbert: Ted is the only one who knows anything about that. And he's on vacation. The boss: Let's see how far we can get without Ted. Alice: You mean without knowledge or insight? The boss: We can make reasonable assumptions. Dilbert: Or we could wait for Ted to come back tomorrow and ask him.. The boss: I called this meeting and it's not a meeting until someone's time gets wasted! Dilbert: I apologize for my efficiency. The boss: Apology accepted.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2009's comic on:


Tags #stubborn, #stupidity, #project, #unavailable, #bureaucracy

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The boss says, "Finish this project in two weeks." The boss says, "And make sure you get input from all the executive stakeholders." Dilbert says, "That's impossible." The boss says, "Why?" Dilbert says, "Let's call one of the ten stakeholders and I'll show you." Beep beep This is Ed Bigston's voice mail. I'm not available...ever. I am either on vacation, or sick, or traveling, or in a meeting. I do not check e-mail or return phone calls. Like the horizon, I am more of a concept than a corporeal being. Despair is your only option. The boss says, "Try faxing him."

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Share March 04, 2007's comic on:


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"May I see the vacation schedule?" "Why do you want it?" "No reason." "Well, Ted, I hope you're enjoying your vacation." "Wally, do you have the cost estimates?" "I'm waiting for Ted's input. He's on vacation." "How about the revised time-line?" "I'm waiting for Ted." "Do you need any office supplies? I'm going to the store." "Maybe some pens." TED "Limited selection but excellent prices." "Thanks." "So, I understand you have a vacation next week."

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"Remember to use all of your vacation time before year end." "I'm off next week." "What! I curse you for taking time off when we have so much work to do! DIE, DIE, DIE!!!" "Anyway, the point is that vacations help relieve your stress."

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Share October 05, 2007's comic on:


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I quadrupled my workload to finish projects before I go on vacation. "I'm going home early to watch Battlestar Galactica on my DVR." "I might eat a nice sandwich!" "Must...Not...Envy...The vacationless."

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Mordac, The preventer of information services "I made some changes to the network that I alone understand." "I didn't have time to test it, but if there is a problem, I'll be on vacation for three weeks in a Russian submarine below the Arctic circle." "My screen just went blank." "Let's chalk that up to coincidence."

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Share December 03, 2006's comic on:


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"Alice, you need to use up your vacation days before the end of the year." "You told me I had to finish my project before the end of the year." "I have 19 vacation days to use and there are 19 work days left in the year." "That leaves zero days to do 19 days worth of work." "You could work on weekends and use weekdays for vacation." "Why the @#$% would I do that?!!" "Because vacations reduce your stress. Duh." "You'd think that would be obvious." "AAIEEE!!!" PUNCH!!!

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Share January 30, 2005's comic on:


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"Here's my vacation schedule." "Good." "Whoa! You're planning to take more vacation days than you've accrued." "It's okay because I'll accrue the days before the actual vacation." "No can do. What if you quit before then?" "I'm literally afraid to hear the answer to that question." "Think, man! If you quit and have vacation at the same time..." "I'LL BE DOWN TWO PEOPLE!!!" "It's hard to remain upbeat." "Do you still live here?"

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"Introducing LOOPY The woman who couldn't end a story." "Did I tell you about my vacation?" "We learned about coconuts." "I"m trapped." "Coconuts are round and hairy, and they grow on trees." "Must escape." "Coconut trees are found in many countries." "Must use my ejector seat." "FROOMP! HA HA!" "They're brown." "GAAA!!! She has a pursuit chair!!!" "I took lots of pictures." "Must...aim for traffic."