You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's speakers bureau "I booked you to do the keynote speech for a big company." "They need a speaker who is so boring and uninspiring that their CEO's humorous skit seems less soul-crushing." "How large is the audience?" "1,500 victims."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Wally's keynote speech "The source of all unhappiness is other people." "The sooner you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy." "That's the stupidest advice I've ever heard!" "Hey, it's a talking ottoman! Hee-hee!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2007's comic on:


Transcript

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Thanks to my outside income, I didn't feel any pressure to work this week." "So I spent my time drawing pictures of you in funny positions." "I might be losing my firm grip on things." "Not according to this picture."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"We have a squatter problem." "We must make our empty cubicles appear occupied or else we'll lose them to other departments." "When we're done hosing our own company, can we start hosing the competition?" "Our customers are next."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Did you finish the technical evaluation?" "First draft." "Um...this says nothing but literally 'Blah, blah, blah.'" "I like to nail the spacing first."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Some batteries in the lab leaked." "I cleaned it up, but there was no place to put all of the hazardous waste." "I couldn't put it in the regular trash or the recycling bin." "It's not legal to pour it down the drain or flush it." "So I put it between two pieces of bread and left it in the break room refrigerator." "GAAA!!!" "Not really. I just wanted to find out who's been eating my lunch." "You mean I'm not going to die?" "Not instantly."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Did you know that loneliness can't be cured by listening to others? "You can only feel alive and whole when others are listening to you?" "What do you think of that?" "Think of what?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I have finished my projects. What's next? "Make a spreadsheet and track something." "Track what?" "I think you'll find that it doesn't matter."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"In order to boost productivity, the company has decided that employees can not use e-mail on Fridays." "What if my highest priorities require e-mail? Should I waste my day doing worthless stuff?" "Geez, somehow you made a great idea seem ridiculous." "Yeah, that's all me."