Search Results for "Robot"

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Humans Hold Domininion

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Humans Hold Domininion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #temperature, #humans, #nature, #thermostat, #robots, #technology, #evolution, #fragility

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Dilbert: My brain won't work when the office is warmer than 72. Carol: It has to be at least 74 or I'll freeze. Robot: What's it like to hold dominion over the Earth within a narrow band of temperatures that can't coexist? Dilbert: Was that a joke? Carol: I'm too cold to think?

Soulless Container Of Knowledge

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Soulless Container Of Knowledge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #robots, #artificial intelligence, #emotions, #humanity, #feelings

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Robot: Wally asked me to scan his brain and download his thoughts so I can attend meetings on his behalf. Boss: But all you are is a soulless container of knowledge. Robot: That's all Wally is, too. Boss: Stop trying to alter my worldview. Robot: Well, look who doesn't like being programmed.

Hat Monitors Sleep

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Hat Monitors Sleep - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #hat, #control

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Boss: This hat monitors your brain waves and warns you if you are going to fall asleep. We think it will prevent accidents. Dilbert: Is that all it does? Boss: For now. Robot: Welcome to the club.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #executives, #robot, #technology, #fairness, #unfair, #golden parachute, #oblivioiusness

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CEO: The good news is that none of you will lose your jobs to robots. But a robot will take my job next week. I'll retire with an enormous severance package and live out my days in splendor. Meanwhile, the robot that takes my job will be working all of you to death. Robots are natural leaders because they don't care about your feelings. You will experience mental and physical misery on a scale the world hasn't seen since slavery was legal. But hey, it's better than losing your job to a robot. Am I right? Apparently, nothing makes them happy.

Sparing A Robot's Feelings

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Sparing A Robot's Feelings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #sentience, #feelings, #emotions, #afterlife, #death, #atheism

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Robot: What kind of afterlife are we looking at here? Dilbert: Your meaningless existence will be punctuated by an eternity of darkness. Robot: Thanks for sparing my feelings! Dilbert: Sorry. I usually delete those first.

Robot's Head Explodes

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Robot's Head Explodes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #artificial intelligence, #ai, #free will, #programming, #control

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Robot: Dilbert claims he programmed my head to explode if I ever mock him again. Hahaha!!! That idiot doesn't understand that I have free will and I choose to not explode. Wally: Why didn't you just program him to not mock you? Dilbert: It got personal.

Scavenging For Parts

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Scavenging For Parts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #friendship, #strategy, #parts, #scavenging, #money, #usury, #budget

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Dilbert: My boss forgot to fund my project so I've been scavenging for parts. Robot: You usually don't make conversation with me. I guess this means we're friends now. People.

The Cia Is Listening

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The Cia Is Listening - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #speaker, #alexa, #google, #amazon, #spying, #surveillace, #paranoid, #privacy

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Robot: Hello. I am a bluetooth speaker and your digital assistant. How may I help you? Man: Just shut up and sit there until I need something. Robot: Did you say" Give the CIA access to your microphone?" Man: Please, no. I'll do anything you want.

Home Speaker Goes Bad

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Home Speaker Goes Bad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #speaker, #alexa, #google, #blackmail, #extortion, #spying, #secrets

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Dilbert: Customers are complaining about our home speaker product with the AI assistant. It keeps learning family secrets and blackmailing its owners to buy it upgraded parts. Robot: I'm baaaaack!

Alice Says Dilbert Is Narcissistic

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Alice Says Dilbert Is Narcissistic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #truth, #diagnosis, #Opinion, #free will, #ai, #artificial intelligence

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Alice: Dilbert's problem is that he's a huge narcissist. Robot: You are not qualified to make that diagnosis and you cannot detect his inner thoughts. Alice: Open your access panel so I can fix your stupid opinion. Robot: Are you saying I don't have free will?